Sunday, November 29, 2009 :
until i saw the stranger that was you.
i never forget.
hari raya wasnt much an effort.just some family members dropping by to catch up for abit.i still love my niece dania.shes oh so so so so cute man.taking photo with her is bo koh leng.lol!i didnt celebrate much but i did eat alot.so went over to town to meet up with wei jian and jo.end up i did my own stuff and they l4d2 all the way.
over the weekends were cheryl ee and waicheong's 18th birthday celebration.so they booked a chalet for the few close people they invited.went late on the first night and they already started drinking.keane,lewis & syndris all cui LOL! so it was buffet on the next night with more people arriving in the evening.theme of the party pyjamas partayy.ate,chill,talk and if wei jian is a millionaire he would buy a private jet and park in bishan park.LOL! or he would take 5 parking lots.joke of the day man.woke up early next day,clean out and book out.
right now im feeling rather reflective about my actions these few months.i knew i did throw my hopes and dreams away.to somewhere i thought i wouldnt find them.i was wrong.it all dawn back to me whenever you appear.i so much wanna forget everything and move on with life.i thought i wouldnt dwell into the past.makes me smile to see everything & tear when its just a failure.buddy told me to accept it,realize it & move on.its just 3 steps but filled with so much pain and sadness.like we always say; actions speaks louder than words.i will be strong and take it like a man this time.i loveD her,its time to move on.happy birthday.
its week 7 and im prepared for it.lets bring it on.
you'll find someone who love you the same way you love her.
Zhixian: Thanks Bud,thank you for everything.island creamery soon k!
PC: Scratchmybackside like appear on google uhh.my hair like nice righht.haha!
huiyin: like seriously funny right.im a father yknow.anws thanks alot yep.see you guys at outings soon.
heartfelt at 10:56 PM
Capture the moments;
when its gone.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009 :
all the things that we do.
unpredictable isn't it.
if i were to rewind back,i wanna play the melody of my life all over again. however,you can never change this melody as it will remain the same even if you rewind and play it back again. how sad is that. once written on the tape it can never be erased it can only be rewinded in the mind and playback through your eyes. for you will imagine and force to believe this is the past and you can never change it.i have been living for almost 18 years and never ever have i thought of what i would really really want to do. how long can we play and have fun. how long can we laugh at our sillyness and scratchourbackside till. i guess i need some life management skills to kinda sort out life.it would be a good module if school of IS to offer eh. i dont usually sit and spend quality time thinking about my future. or rather i like the talk now,think later feel uh.
i really hate night where i would think of the fun times i had,the sadness i cry for, the time i took to mend the broken heart.to think of everything from friends to families to happy and sad moments in life. it sucks doesnt it. you always want to hold great moments close your heart and place the unpleasant ones far from where our heart is. we sometimes do forget about the bad moments we have in life and we do sometimes manage to hide them,but for how long can we hide till we find them again. we cannot always have what we want for we would become selfish unthinking humans. the question lies,should i? a pretty easy question with a very difficult answer. never have i, found an answer to this. i should.
school's really something these few days. i dont know if i could cope with the piling work i have been abondoning for weeks and the sarcasm lecturers throw at me. i dont really take it to heart and take it as a joke.but i've got to come to senses that it aint a big fat joke.come on,wake up mannan.we got to pull through this. im determined to turn this mess around.
i wish i was stronger.
Eunice: hey,i enjoyed working alongside with you guys too.hope we had a great and memorable red camp 6!
Wenxing: yes son.lol!
PC: and how did you find scratchmybackside?
Jiayin: yep,i know im so nice to write here.haha! dont worry you guys will see more of me.i rebonded my front half of my head.heh! :)
Bel: yep i will soon :D
heartfelt at 12:51 AM
Capture the moments;
when its gone.
Saturday, November 21, 2009 :
1, 2 whoop whoop.
we are happy spartan family.
well last week was e-learning week for the whole ME students. this means we stay home and do nothing but look at the laptop and punch our keyboard likeadog. but I was away back in school.yes i had RED CAMP 6! one word to describe it all AWESOME! red camp is different from the other camps that i had attended. if i were to tell you how awesome red camp is,it will take 100 days and 99 nights. it was full of fun,laughter,joy,smiles and everything else.well im thankful that i was chosen as an SL as this is my first red camp. i remember the times we had in SL camp from the inside jokes to taupok to mass dance(epic). We went through hardship together having lots and lots of fun together.
over the past 3 days i made many new friends, hopefully put a smile across everyone's face and gain experience.i learnt alot more in the different school in np. health sciences have really cool facilities which im unaware of. operating theatres, wards to even labour wards. you name it they have it.so in the labour ward a guy would supposedly act as a father to cheer the wife to give birth.so unfortunately im the only guy in the group so i have to volunteer.all i have to do is simple,cheer my wife on to give birth. it is just stimulation ah,saw how the nurses handle the baby popping out of the V.interesting i could say.the school of lsct is more dope. they fed us with dry ice biscuits and marshmallows which tasted so cooling and good.labbit are like so cute. but one thing about labbit is their shit smells like rotted shit.we really had good food in the 3 days of camp.they fed us good.HAHA! i always can remember cheers and the mass dance after the camp.well its been a great 3 days with the SLs, red campers and everyone.oh did it mentioned i missed a chance to go upclose with michelle chia.oh wells,better luck next time.
to all the SLs of spartans in red camp. thanks for being very hyper and always having fun together.we might only know each other for like 2 months? but we grew closer and closer to one another. we turn to one another in times of sadness and worries.we were there for each other. the times we made our fellow members laugh till they cry, with funny jokes and the not so funny jokes we have. i bet we had so much fun cheering,making our red campers laugh at our inside jokes and all. it shows how bonded we are as a tribe. i really had a great time with you guys working side by side to make this camp a wonderful one. thanks for all the memories you guys left me with which i would treasure for the rest of my life. we shall keep in contact and perhaps go to island creamery again.HAHA! i love you guys! SPARTANS FTW!
so im home feeling rather nappy.waiting for time to pass till 4pm to go at the back of my block to collect some stuff.hunting for a new wallet soon.cause mine is like oh so cui.tonight's plans is for peilin.might be hitting PH or Phuture.so see you people around,have a great weekend and keep scratching your backside.
oh ya,i rebonded my hair.LOL!
heartfelt at 2:14 PM
Capture the moments;
when its gone.
Monday, November 16, 2009 :
things that we let go,we never turn back.
the weekend was over and done with.hitting the night scene twice in a weekend is total madness.shant talk about it.sunday was spent over bukit merah.hit queensway for the job interview but they only want people who could commit for 3 months. so i walked around and bought a few stuff. went over geseho,there was a sale going on,raglan and a photo tee.(Y) went to je to collect some stuff and waited for val to end his driving.went over to town to walk for a bit.desserted as movies were completely booked.such a wonderful weekend isnt it.
this goes to people who are going through tough times. no matter what happens we have to move on with life. we can never be there waiting,wondering what went wrong. it could be either of our fault but life isnt fair. sometimes life comes and hit you like a train and sometime it lets you fly in the sky. either way we have to appreciate with what we have and treasure whatever's left. if you need anyone to talk to im just a click away,i would lend you a crying shoulder as long as you dont leave your eye shit behind.remember you have friends around whom love you much more.at time we got to suck it and accept the bitter truths and sometimes we just have to fuck care,dont care.
and this goes to you. as much as i dont want to bear grudges or hate people.but i just have to mention i hate the way you play the game. like what my friend once told me,we dont hate the players,we hate the game.and i fucking hate the way you play it. you change them like you change your underwear. i dont care if you have thickskin rather thicker then my fats combined but please know people out there hate it. you are so sensitive,i could jolly well make you a flying donkey.i swear.every man has limits to his patience,ive yet to reach mine with you.i shouldnt care so much about what you are doing.but as a friend i have to point out that what you are doing makes people judge you. i dont want to get judged just because we play the same game. i dont want people to associate me with you making me look as if im part of your game doing the same shit you do,i aint. and please dont contradict what you say. sometimes its rather hilarious to hear two side of the stories that leads to your humour.get the joke now. i shall not go on with your story cause its just never ending. i just wish you good luck finding your way out.
on a brighter note red camp 6 is here.yes tomorrow reporting time is 715am.so i would be missing these 3 days out for camp.get me through my mobile to reach me.have a great week people.
My son said,
Loving someone is not about appearance,
looks or whatever shit,
It's by the heart dad.
heartfelt at 10:57 PM
Capture the moments;
when its gone.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009 :
your heart starts to wonder.
last friday had npsu meeting followed by a short astro activity. went home feeling not so good.the bro inc. called for a late night supper over at ameen.so bert picked me up and with val and russ we went ameen for supper.talked and chilled for a bit before we hit irc for some dota action.playing there with them was great. could see the anticipation of bringing down the throne and the shouting from val.had fun that night. homed at 4am close to 5 i think.
slept through my saturday morning to wake up to go for team bonding day in school. had fun with the people i havent seen in the longest time of my life.lewis drove me and jo to kap for our supper before head home to chill for a bit. met buddy at town,freaking traffic jam swarmed down orchard road. we bused down to PH for whoop whoop. i dont know,i think i was high on the king's drink.smoked like nobody business. i know got to cut down. slowly but surely. overslept in the bus,homed at 7.
slept through my sunday only to wake up at 4pm. was suppose to meet wenxing and shah to head to geseho which opens only on sunday. i guess i have to head there this coming sunday. its on sale.i heard the tees are dope man. so met val and all for dinner over at amk hub then for lulians nearby. slacked and talked before making our way home at 9plus.
mondays always suck to the core.lessons at 9am with maths test in the afternoon just makes the day worse.maths was difficult,obviously and my numbers and calculations really cannot make it.so after school went home and fuck i was early home and my door is locked.meet up with wenxing at queenstown as he went to alter his stuff at his aunty shop.just behind my block.we head over to queensway for dinner.
yknow i never really wanted to say all those words towards you.it hurts for you to listen and it hurts even more for me to say.i never wanted to be a disrespectful person like all those kids out there neither would i wanna be someone whom appears in your worst nightmare.i know in the fit of anger,i just have to shout and be dissapointed at your actions.but what i say dont really meant it,do i? what you have been doing is too much and i can never take in anymore.every human have their limits and i just reached mine.i see how selfish you people can be.always complaining,always talking big,always saying good things about other people and comparison which never eloped.yknow what, fuck them all.so what if other people son and daughter are fucking good,so what they always get good things for their parents,so what if my father is not like theirs.why kp so much.if you have to be so jealous and always say so much fucking good stuff about other people son.please and go be their mother.i see how we dont interact much,i see how much you love them more than you love me,i see how you always compare me with other kids.i dont really care.i am myself and this is how i was brought up with a dad by my side.yknow what i dont give a flying fuck.i never wanted much,all i wanted was fairness on how you treat your children.fucking screw it la.you always say things which arent reasonable to me,it doesnt make sense neither it sounds logical.you think your family is so good?you listen to someone who isnt even in your family and you make judgements.please fucking judge me.i dont give a damn.so much for being a family.you get me into trouble,you say you wouldnt care,you talk big but why do you still care.it irritates me so much.whatever you did i never really brought it up.i never really complained.but its just fucking too much.everyday you have to complain about something,everyday somewhere somewhat will not be right.what do you want me to fucking do.beat my own mother.i fucking hate the older generation,call me naive,i dont give a flying fuck.whats the problem with the generation gap.fucking cb.
sorry its abit angsty.just have to type it out.it will better in the days to come.lessons at 9am.gotta hit the bean bags.goodnight and have a great week ahead.
heartfelt at 12:06 AM
Capture the moments;
when its gone.
Thursday, November 5, 2009 :
and everything,it will surely change.
as long as you know,i once loved you.
ive seen how time changes people's appearance,attitiude and even thinking.ever felt like dwelling into the past to feel how you could not feel now.have you ever made a crucial decision which you regret making.i never did.i never regret any of my decision.even though the decision could be impulsive or made on our own intuition we still dont regret any decision we make.for we as humans always make the best decision for ourselves.i dont regret making that decision,as it was the best decision for me.to love you.
its the 150th post for scratchmybackside.i realised many eyes are set on this space.i try my best not to be so open up in this space as people might judge me.but still thanks for coming by to read whats in the mind of a fat little boy that walks in np.heh.schools out at 9am,gotta catch some sleep.goodnight :)
heartfelt at 12:29 AM
Capture the moments;
when its gone.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009 :
karma is calling.
soon i will stop.
if you havent noticed i put up a list of ten important things i need to do.i have already written it down on a piece of paper safely kept in my wallet.to achieve or not to achieve i will not give myself empty promises that i always do.its kind of a goal i want to achieve in the future.so whenever i achieve the things i have in this list i will post it up.although some of you can roughly guess what they are,i would never reveal them till i fulfill them.good luck.
these days i have been doing alot of thinking.or rather reflecting.i realised so many things i need to do,so many things that i have to change.i know i have been saying this for countless times and it never really work.lets just hope for the best,yes?i couldnt be bothered by what people have been saying behind my back or what their impression of me now.i couldnt care less.as long as i know i still do have people who believe in me and the trust they give that one day i would change for the better.no one is born perfect and we have our weaknesses and strength.so why do you care?
heartfelt at 11:43 PM
Capture the moments;
when its gone.
Monday, November 2, 2009 :
put your hands up in the air.
doctor mamanan.
so the weekend was a blast i guess.31 oct,halloween at any other club.dress code,anything is possible.yet i cant be bothered to dress up.ok perhaps a little bit of shimmery white lipstick.but still those hardcore star wars fan,arabian girls,angels and freaking hot nurses win handsdown man.halloweened over at phuture with the usual gang with some of dan's sec school friend.was abit high not that high but still alright.haha!it was awfully packed with party goers which makes moving around alot harder.so it was great booze,great company,great music, great night and a toast to mission accomplished.so happy to bump.
school's out at 9am tomorrow,practicals.cant miss it for the world man.got to turn in.have a great week ahead.
mak cik keropok in the club eh~ eh~
marisk hargitay.
where my people go.
dont judge the book by its cover.
heartfelt at 12:45 AM
Capture the moments;
when its gone.
