If things are better this way.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009 :

neither today was a good day.


i love bus rides without my earpiece blasting my favourite tracks into me.i like the serenity and the calm i would get on long bus journeys home.thinking of stuffs made my journey short that it only felt like minutes on it.come to think of all these stuffs,it kinda makes me tired.but without all these i would feel empty.i am kinda confused bout what i have to do and what i feel.im dreading to go school nowadays.lifting up my fat body seems so tiresome and difficult.i lost interest in what i doi hate lessons which starts early and having a lecturer who is dumb.maybe someday i will appreciate them.but not now.i feel that im getting the wrong idea.it seems to good to be true.it seems that dreams do come true.but sadly assumptions make one a fool.so fuck dreams and all that is associated with it.i feel so pessimistic today.ah life sucks.night guys.

-I should have been chasing you,
I should have been trying to prove,
that you were all that mattered to me,
I should have said all the things,
that I kept inside of me and maybe,
I could have made you believe,
that what we had was all we'd ever need


heartfelt at 11:08 PM

Capture the moments;
when its gone.

:

Memories that lingers.

Today was a normal day like another tuesday which is dam slack.went gyming with the usuals.then cheryl gave me something which really really touched my heart.its a picture of all the anubis GLs before the camp.and behind that picture she wrote me a note.it goes like this:

Dear Mannan,

Firstly,thank you for everything that you've done for Anubis.Thanks for making us laugh with all your jokes and words.You really made those tough days in March so much more funfilled.Thank you for making it so wesome.

All the times we've spent together were really awesome and i'll remember them vividly.

The joy,tears,laughters,fun,all the ups and downs made us all our sacrifices so worth it!Definitely.I have never and will NEVER regret being a GL because i get to know you better and we get to laugh,cry,scream and get high together.I really wish time could turn back and let us go through all these all over again.I hope we keep in contact and go for camps together in future and have fun! :)

With Love,
Cheryl Ee.
2009

Dear Cheryl Ee,

Thanks for being a great friend through out this journey of our lives where we had to work together to pull through the difficult times and sometimes agonizing moments.When i look back to days we spent countless hours in school where others are out enjoying themselves,i feel sad and at the same time happy that i am there in school with people i want to spend time with.

All the memories of us being GLs would forever stay with me and its something that i wont leave behind as i move on with my life.Thanks for all the help you rendered me at times and being there when i need someone to talk to.Remember the time when we had to rush the freshies gift as well as make props for our campfire skit.Although we were not feeling well,we still did it and made our skit a success.

Looking back at the skit,tearing seems to be impossible to hold as so much sacrifices and hardwork had been done.The thanks i put forth for you and the whole group would never be sufficient for all the things you guys have done to make this group Anubis one of the best group in Egypt FOC 09/10. Once again thank you for every single thing you had done for me. :)

With Love,
AhBerDu Mannan.

-my thoughts are free to go anywhere,
but they always seem to go to your direction.


heartfelt at 12:02 AM

Capture the moments;
when its gone.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009 :

i is sad.


oh what a day to kick start my weekend.today really really shucks man.started with lesson at 9am which is really damn early.happen to wear my top that i just bought.got negative comments on it.people laugh at me cause im fat.thanks alot.really thanks :) had shitty lesson which the teacher could not explain the ways to draw that freaking model.but our fluid mechanics rock.he made me understand the topic in less than fifteen mins.so went for lunch with the usuals at canteen 2 as makan place is packed.slacked everywhere in the school then went to do the nomination for ME comm.after all was done i went for rugby training.today training was dam tiring.it had been very long since had this kind of physical shit.anyway the coach was there so it was abit fierce.he was a funny guy though.always scolding people.haha.the last set of sprintings.i really couldnt take it.skipped a few sets of them like 3 or 4.the coach always emphasizing on life sucks.and it really does.after training went al-azhar for dinner then off home.took 970 and sat third row from the back.didnt intend to plug in my earpiece to play songs on repeat.so i just stare into empty spaces and went into deep thinking.alot went through my mind.i cannot decipher what i want ,what i want to do in the future and the present and how my life would be.fell asleep through the jouney.but luckily woke up at commonwealth area.just as i was preparing myself to talk to the advisor for ME.kai told me that they only accept SLs from their foc camps.i am totally dissapointed in the fact that im not able to join the comm and its really unfair to me cause i never received their letters informing about the SLs for the camp.gosh.its just totally unfair.sorry for the wordy post,i just have to pour it out.like what the coach said:Life Sucks.seriously it does :(
hope you guys have a great week ahead.cheers people.

-how can you tell the sun not to shine when clouds exist,
how can ask leaves not to fall when wind exists,
how can you tell me not to fall in love when you exist.


heartfelt at 12:33 AM

Capture the moments;
when its gone.

Sunday, April 26, 2009 :

i like this.



you cant make someone love you,
all you can do is be someone who can be loved,
the rest is up to the person to realize you are worth.


heartfelt at 11:11 PM

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when its gone.

:

oh la la.


ok before i be a lazy ass i think i should blog bout what had been happening recently.nothing much happened actually besides the hop night on friday as well as aizat birthday celebration.lets start with hop night.music was said to be terrible,couldnt really agree on that cause i wasnt there.i was doing my duty.so my duty was to stand at the entrance and check their bags.after a while went into the dancefloor and have some fun.so thats about the hopnight thing.
cheers :)

so on saturday is Aizat Guan 8teen birthday.went to cine to prepare his cake and stuff.gave him a surprise with the fruit+hershey pie+donut+my face cupcake(cupcake that look like me -.-).watched a video that loga compiled from all our voices and faces.go to LOGA blog to watch it.honestly i was holding my tears when i watched the video.too much memories uh.then we left cine for far east plaza ayam penyet.aizat had to do a dare that is take photos with 8teen girls.gosh.eighteen random people down orchard.i think he like a few ah.hahaha.so he went off to meet his friends and we went to bugis with the intention of catching a movie over at iluma if im not wrong.realised the promotion was ever,we hop over to haji lane for sheesha.first time trying it.not that bad ah.but starting always choke.lols.left the co. and went home.

Mr Mannan Cupcake
the sad part :(

his favourite shot.happy ah bro.lols.i caught it for him.


2nd fav shot.i think.


his 3rd fav shot.i think.
the most good looking starts from the right.haha!


the group without wei jian,phoebe,vanny and xt.
lols.same pose.

peace :)

the face steam sia.lols!


today accompanied lewis to queensway to get his rugby suit.we went around queensway a few times to get the best bargain.heh.i bought a nice shirt.shall wear tml.haha.excited siol.so that kinda sums up my weekend.so have a great week ahead readers.dont forget to cherish every moments in your life.cheerstos.

check out that wound.
-i've read countless love stories,
none of the came true,
well at least for me.


heartfelt at 8:50 PM

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when its gone.

:

A Long Way,We Came.


Hi Aizat,this post is solely dedicated to you.firstly i would like to wish you a great eighteen birthday.although we couldnt came up with a great one,i still do hope that you enjoyed the stuff we got you.im really really thankful that i found a great friend like you.we had came a really long way from being freshie in FOC 08/09 to being GLS in FOC 09/10.we pull through all the toughest times and the times we were there to help and support one another in time of trouble.remember the times when we were in K3.we stick through that period of time and moved on with our life.you are the only friend that i trust in everything.i still remember the times when we gym on sundays and helping me with school work after that.gosh im really thankful to have a you.so i really hope that our friendship will last till we are old enough to die and hope that we still contact each other even though we are not in the same school anymore.who knows uh.to end this,many words of thanks to you for advicing me,helping in many ways and being there when i need someone.i have regarded you as my brother and i hope theres nothing in the world that can break the brotherhood.like loga said:time changes,but friendship dont.ok im starting to tear.so i hope that you grow old in the mind(heh) and start to be more joyful.oh yeahs.when im eighteen next month,lets go get a drink.cheers bro.


heartfelt at 12:01 AM

Capture the moments;
when its gone.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 :

oh wells.

hello readers.i think im in for a bad week.im really really sad that i lost so many things in just one day.gosh.heres what had been happening to me for the past 3 days.

-prestige on monday.
-prestige again on tuesday.my laptop crashed and cannot be switched on for dont know what happened.then i had no choice but to reformat.lost every single shit that i had.memories of camps,sec school stuff,classmates.everything is gone.if only i could recover everythings.sighs.
-today went to school early to it helpdesk,in the end they cant help.so called the acer helpline and they taught me how to reformat.and am thankful im still able to us this lappy.so after that went for rugby till i got abrasion jus beside my right eye.when i landed i felt my skin tore and the stinging pain is wtfomgccbfukc.gosh.hope there would not be scars.

hope you guys would have a better week then me.cheers.

-my memories are left,
without photographs.


heartfelt at 11:47 PM

Capture the moments;
when its gone.

Monday, April 20, 2009 :

if only.


if maybe my brain would stop,
thinking of negative thoughts,
only i would have an enjoyable day.
i smile outside,
frowning inside,
trying to reason out,
what went wrong.
issit that i think too much,
of stuffs which isnt supposed to happen?
or maybe the refusal to admit to acceptance?
to decide on my decisions,
i think i thought to myself.
i think im doing things right,
sometimes i feel im overdoing,
at times i dont feel that i have done a thing.
but why does it have to be this way,
or the other.
that i cannot understand.
i am just simply confused,
to make a decision,
or to confirm a thing,
but all i know is that,
i would not give up.
or maybe its reality time check.
oh wells.


heartfelt at 9:24 PM

Capture the moments;
when its gone.

Saturday, April 18, 2009 :

the last dance.


i like this shot.

hey hey sexy people of earth.im feeling rather cheerful and happy now and i dont know why.haha.partly cause i got my internet and the other i dont know.heh.anyway just came back from GL chalet and all i can say that it was hell of a fun.people drink and drank and got drunk.oh wells.stayed up the whole night taking care of people who are not mentally right.lols.their actions dam funny.all inside joke ah.haha.well i learned more to life.a great talk to with best friend,woke me up from my dream to realisation.oh wells.since i got my connection up,i will try my best to update more often.tml plan is to accompany valli to queensway then off to marina barrage to crash an outing and then off to one of anubis sub-group bbq.sunday plan is johor man.have a great weekend.cheers :)


leave you guys with some memories.




-the last dance
igniting the heart.




heartfelt at 1:40 AM

Capture the moments;
when its gone.

Friday, April 10, 2009 :

another day.


hey people,a few things had been happening in the past week.well im kinda ok now.back to my senses.lols.so anyways the whole of last week was spent in school with 2 bros and a few hoes.haha.im lazy to type so heres the summary of it.

-crashed many many outings(amunlicious,bumblebees and wasabis).
-went to get the internet line which would start like 17 april(yey!).
-crashed for BAoc'09.went into wc and ee group.well all i could say it was better then MEoc.skit was good and the feeling of being freshie was fun man.
-hang out with the usual kaki's down south.
-IT fair pay is in.here come the goods man.(insert a whee and a smile!)

so a few upcoming events that gonna happen before school officially starts on the 20th april.

-FOC 09/10 sentosa mass outing.will be under the sun and definitely many tau poks.definitely.
-GLs chalet from 15 to 17 april.hope its fun.
-i think on 18 got some bbq or what ah.huat ah,i fat liao.
-the 'best' day ever.im gonna meet my teachers 20th april.hello school.

so thats about it.i will try to update more often when i get some connection.hmm i will just end this post with a photograph and a few words.


3 Musketeers

thanks for all your support and advices you guys gave me.to pull through the hardest times i had.although we might not agree with one another but all points are noted.i really am thankful that i meet you two crazy bitches with the rest(captain black,aunty,vitamins).i hope our friendship stays strong forever.thnk you so much.cheers.
-oh wells,
i'll stop.


heartfelt at 3:59 AM

Capture the moments;
when its gone.

Saturday, April 4, 2009 :

inner beauty.

i procrastinated the facts,
the facts that were there,
from the start of the journey,
never thought of giving up,
till the very last moment,
or should i say till the moment,
it came forth,
now i have to swallow it,
like a bitter pill down my throat.

a great friend told me back then,
you dont try,you wont know,
i told him i wanted to try,
but i already knew.
so wheres the meaning to it.

3 musketeers is what we call ourselves,
the fat,
the skinny,
and the build.
we were there for one another,
going through times of ups and downs together,
i thank GOD for them,
if not i would be some insane man,
running down memory lane.

we always have this heart to heart thing,
sharing sorrows and joys,
flows in us.
we treat each and everyone of us like brothers,
real brothers.
we supported one another,
giving a hand whenever one falls.

i am never confident in everything i do,
except for those easy ones.
never am i this pessimistic bout life,
this has been hard,really really hard,
but i must bear in mind that the world is unfair.
humans being prejudice to special humans,

a great friend told me back then,
to follow my heart was what he said.
i did follow,
i ended up in the wrong direction.

if theres anything in the world,
that can change people's heart,
i would gladly trade it for mine.
cause inner beauty seemed meaningless,
but without inner beauty,
being beautiful is pointless.

im not looking back in despair,
but to move on,
and never look back.
im calling it a day,
im quiting chasing.
it opened up,
the world inside me.

i am happy for a friend of mine,
for his door had been opened for him.
i hope he would treasure it,
and hold on till forever.

at times we had to give up something for something,
when we lose something,
we do gain something,
we gain the feeling of losing something.

writing what he thinks,
his pessimistic thought,
a writer that can never be good,
as his content was never,
to be understooded.
what was said could be,nonsensical,comical joke,
to him it was a feeling of thoughts.
deep down.
inner beauty,
i still do believe in it.
please dont jusdge,
based on my thoughts.








heartfelt at 2:48 AM

Capture the moments;
when its gone.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009 :

roses are red,violets are blue.

Best Of Friends


never been this pessimistic before.
maybe it was never what i was meant to be.
a choice i must make.
rejection is part of growing up,
im afraid to grow up.
to follow my heart.
it ends with a smile.


heartfelt at 2:12 AM

Capture the moments;
when its gone.