A New Beginning.

MISSING.

2010-03-22T04:13:00.001+08:00

i will be back again,
i promise.

im going against the odds,all in.

2010-03-05T02:47:00.002+08:00

my mic hang low.

hello hello hello readers.the owner of smb(scratchmybackside) is such a lazy faggot that this space seems so empty and dead.well guess whos back?yeah yeah.okays im quite excited for camp tomorrow.it just brings back memories of the past foc,good times aye.

life have been quite a routine after exams.NOT MANY MAJOR CLUBBING TRIPS-PLEASE TAKE NOTE.i have been exploring singapore and its tiny island for abit.yes,im talking about sentosa's universal studios.the place is damn ________.if you were to pay 66bucks for it,im going to tell you its worth every single cent.

let me see,a few major birthday the past weeks. zhixian bud, piggy, angel ng, manda yeo , jing ting.HAPPY BIRTHDAY OKAY PEOPLE.HOPE ALL YOUR WISHES,FANTASIES,DREAMS ALL COME TRUE K.HOHOHO!

as much as i dont wanna think about school,im living in fear of failing my modules.please dont call me telling me i would fail.for now just have fun till results come out,then cry for awhile then comes the mundane school life.but for now just have as much fun as you can.

so im gonna book in for camp tomorrow noon for foc trial camp,perhaps after that i could get a job over at the it fair.earn abit for the upcoming bkk trip with the lovely people.im gonna do my dreadlocks there.shiok!eat a little bit of grasshopper or crickets.anybody wants me to ta pao back to sg?heh.

so i hope you people party hard,have fun in the sun and leave your worries and sorrows far away k.for the people on attachment,dont frown and please be happy that your holidays is filled.so stay happy and cheerful people.have a great weekend (Y).

little moments,you wish would never end.

do you even care?

2010-02-20T04:05:00.002+08:00

you.

scratchmy bababackside is kinda dead,i know.2 weeks passed by so quickly that i know i am going to have trouble with exams.these 2 weeks have been quite an eventful one,many ups and downs.lets rewind back to cny 2010.

took my IA paper on friday,went for steamboat over @syndris's.had fun 21-ing and eating all the many many foood.photos are up on faceboook (Y).

so had countless dinner and supper with russ,bert and val.caught up for a bit before russ set sail for the seven seas to the grand line.and bert back to duty.so its gonna be a month before russ comes back to homeland.

so im halfway through my exams.still mugging or rather re-studying for the 2 remaining papers.(Y) dont talk about the past 2 papers,already dead and gone.i guess this time tradition would be broken and we will see the fall of a bright student.LOL!will try my best not to repeat too many modules.if not jia rat.so im gonna spend abit of my saturday in school going through thermofuckingdynamics.

my life is pretty average and mundane right now,thus pardon me for the lag of updates.i dont have so much photos to photospam this place.but i just realised i got so many people who hate me.well that isnt so bad.im sure everyone have their fair share of haters and lovers.i ownself do hate people in school,i really mean hate them.you can hate me for all i care,cause i dont give a flying fuck(Y)

to all those still having papers,goodluck.have a great weekend to come.study hard,play hard.(Y)

Tag Replies:

Zhixian : he got ask me meet up once,go chill have some drink,fuck fear drink beer.lol!island creamery,lets go!

Yong quan ur lover : well thanks for coming to my space,keyboard warrior.am i going around making too much noise for you?oh if i ever shouted at you,im so sorry yeahs.i didnt ask to be so "popular",why are you so concerned?are you somewhat jealous?i am fat no doubt about that,but you are someone i dont know,so it doesnt matter.oh man,i feel so insulted by that comment.(Y) everyone out there is definitely hated by someone else,what makes you so special that nobody hates you.you can hate me,but someone out there might hate you.cheers (Y)

i got pop.

2010-02-08T06:08:00.001+08:00

the next project.

its 2 weeks due to exams,in fact my first paper is this friday.Freaking IA is gonna smack the ass out of me.This is the result of playing too much in class and have to chiong through everything from chapter 1 in the last hour.Great uh(Y)

so the past week was rather bad too.skipped too many classes which isnt healthy.and everyday seems more fucked up.i screwed my tests,tutorials not done and dont talk about online quizzes.got this feeling another 6months extra in np.well lets see what the awaken mannan,valli and ian can do to make me pass all the modules.it would be a miracle though.

over the weekends we really spent well sleeping at home,slept my sat away.it does feel different walking outside after not leaving my room for 2 days.depression much.well i gotta kick this habit of sleeping late and waking up super late too.making me miss morning classes.fuckatat.

so on a gloomy sunday evening,met up with bertman,russman,valman and manman.went for dinner at ameen before we start our random talk-cock-love-sharing-session.had a really great time laughing our ass off at all the inside joke.*ding dong* (guess who?).we lepaked through the evening before russman have to leave for camp.hes booking in tonight and booking out tomorrow afternoon.wtphuck -.-. AND AMEEN NASI AYAM PENYET IS REALLY THE SEXIEST THING I EVER ATE.(Y)

so im right awake right now,afraid to fall into deep slumber only to wake up in the afternoon.presentation later at 9am,seriously man.so in the coming weeks,im going to be grinding my books,talk books,see books and eat books.seriously got to do some work.lets all pray that exams would be over soon enough to see us back down on the dancefloor,heh!hope you guys have a "great" week to come.(Y)

Tag Replies:

MAISIE : yeahs too freaking hungry already,im not drunk btw ^^

blame it on the alcohol.

2010-02-01T02:35:00.004+08:00

tick tock tick tock its monday and the weekends is freaking over.i know this space is like updated once every blue moon but guess what!its still alive!so the past week i have been rather bad,lazy,lazier and the laziest monster ever.i skipped school likea dozen times not because i choose to but the alarm didnt ring like how it should and my classmates all together pon.bo pian 1 for all,all for 1.

so friday came and i went to school for nothing.NNH(taught by bud)!classmates all skipped class so bo pian must have the togetherness.lol!so slacked in school for abit before heading home.buddy call up and we met at holiday inn.i thought i was late but someone was even later,so whose late in the end.LOL!

met sheryl chio and laksana before heading down to jie wei 18th partayyy.so it started kinda relac before circle of death decided my fate that night.halfway through the night i dont know what i was doing.i remembered jumping the drain,running after yat and merlioning.besides that i cant really recall.the worst part have yet to come,the hangover.this seriously sucks.i know buddy sure scared if i vomit in the train.LOL!bluarghhhh.

my sat and sun was spent with bwx,huatzai and noside.we travelled from the alley to bugis to the city.we lepak,relac,sing song,makan and shop.we pranked call complete my muttons style and scared tio our mother sons in the bus.LOL!

so here comes another week of ___________.life is such a bore when it is like a routine right?let exams be over and done with so everybody can lepak,sounds good.and then i will have time to chase faster.lol!so i hope everyone will have a great week ahead,stay healthy and happy always!

let me end with this:

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel"

Tag Replies:

zhixian : i caught you!and and and,how you and him?LOL!

2010-01-25T01:32:00.002+08:00

im going for this dreads.

hello friends,relatives,family and all.smb looks dead and im here to update!well life for me been pretty smiley although i dont know who she is refering to,but it does give me the tinge of hope.it does gets me to mr smiley,but how long can we pretend.

so the past week have been rather slack for me as i did not attend many classes.i know im sure to fail,my modules.fug man.school is quite a bore,but when you go to school,when you board the bus and tell yourself,im sure to see her today just makes you wanna be in school.it does happen to all,im sure im not the only one.lecturers nagging and stuff fall on deaf ears but you will know the consequences.

the weekends were well spent with bert and co. over at holland v.we spend most of our time slacking.and doing nothing till dota.stayed home hungry for most of my weekends.power not.and theres tomorrow,wow im so dead.wednesday practical test gets me wondering why i am even in engineering.the reason why engineering have mean teachers cause they have students like us.

okays i got to hop onto bed and get the beauty sleep.have a great week ahead people.

goodluck for your test tomorrow :)

every single thing you do.

2010-01-17T03:18:00.003+08:00

you.

lets give this space a lil update.the past week had been quite horrendous .from projects deadline to re-test,my life couldnt get any better.cant really remember what i did at the start of the week.but i know i am not prepared to take the final exams yet.maths is terrible,we dont talk about other modules.they are equally as bad.

so as i anticipate the weekends,the weekends are going to be over soon.and the weekly cycle will start again.on friday after my retest,went home to take a quick shower before heading out to meet martin,angel and li ling.been quite some time since i last saw them.,especially martin.wanted to eat some buffet but we end up eating at shokudo.caught up for a little bit.i think i last saw him is like 6mths ago?time do travel yes.

i left the group to meet bert,val and their fellow friends.we bus down to al-ameen for supper and talk cock session.or rather serious shit.lol!the soon to be navy officer cheang joined us for supper.slacked till we are tired of laughing and went over to irc for some dota.cabbed home when the stars are no longer there and when the sun greeted earth.

so basically i wasted my whole sat by sleeping through it.so im up cause i dota too much.no life right.i know.most probably i will be hitting town tomorrow to get some stuff.sooo im off to bed naow.have a great weekend.lol!

and you better be CAREFUL!take care of your injury yeahs.

Tag Replies:

Wenxing : Yeahs no worries,you can add me on fb.Sorry couldnt go powerhouse tonight!

ontiantze : done bitch!

i got no clue.

2010-01-11T07:20:00.002+08:00

happy 18!

the weekend was a blast over at costa sands as ryan ott celebrated his 18th birthday.yes hes finally legal,how bout it ciggies and clubbing uh.3d2n over at costa sands with many unfamiliar faces and familiar faces.we had bbq on the first night and when the clock strikes 12 they sang him a song while some of us prepared the cake.i guess he was reallly surprised as there was cake.cause the first time they sang was without cake aye.so some big guy that just turned 18 face must maintain.likea wanna cry ah.HAHA!beer'd,alcohol'd and many many food.talk through the night about secondary school days which are so fun and memorable.and slept at 6am.

so i left the early in the morning to go back school for red camp special.feeling freaking tired which made my train trip alot shorter.it was great to see the campers back again,with smile on their faces.we had an amazing race and stuff.a very fun fun day indeed.

went home charged my phone and off to pasir ris to join the guys for another night of bbq.slacked and lewis was there.so kinda caught up about stuffs.went downstairs to feed mosquitoes and talk again.cheap thrills by burning the rope.LOL!& wee song much retarded expression keep the co going and laughing.

so we had this deal of not to sleep and whoever sleeps first will be slipper slapped.i couldnt tahan much longer.got some sleep for like 2hours for 2 days?so i went back intending to wait for all to come back then sleep.and i accidentally doze off.was awaken by people slapping my face the next day. -.-

so we packed our bags and head home after a fruitul eighteenth for ryan and 3d2n of fun.

now i got to prepare for school.have a great week guys.

Tag Replies

syndris: yes we have to.i will try to.(the word is try) HAHA!

Cheryl: you so fierce :/

my love along the silhouette.

2010-01-07T23:51:00.004+08:00

where were you?

i dont know what you are thinking.i dont know what to do.if only christmas eve were to repeat.i miss the feeling of looking at the sun making its morning calls and talking about how love and life revolves around.i suddenly had a flashback and im missing the whole scene.sorry this is kind of random,goodnight.

back to school.

2010-01-03T23:49:00.004+08:00

its a few minutes to 12am.and tomorrow school officially starts(boooo).the holidays have been rather packed and short for me to enjoy.well at least my holidays are packed with stuff to do every single day.

first thing in the holidays is ANE.thank God its over.i guess no more hardcore commitment till next year.there a few screw ups in my programme other than that the camp went smoothly.TGIO!

so my weeks went by with partying,bloodybeetroots and new year countdown.i think my live needs a long hiatus from liquor.so no more till the next holidays,hopefully.and ive yet to see my photos.what a way to usher in the new year.

i guess i did something really stupid at the start of a brand new year.mannan stop thinking about it.theres nothing you could do anymore.i guess you tried your best.

so holidays are pretty much over.and im very dissapointed at something which i worked for a year long and i did not managed to achieve.i guess sometimes just because of one mistake,we fail to achieve.now i know how pointless it is to make sacrificial when in the end it just comes down to one thing that decides it all.well at least i did it with sincerity.well no regrets that i didnt get what i wanted at least people dont hate me.

so school's at 9am and i have no one anymore to give me a morning call.so much as i wished you were there to call me.oh wells.hope that you are happy now.goodnight and have a great week ahead people.

Tag Replies:

Zhixian : Yes,lets hope 2010 would be nice to us.& Bloody Beetroots were freaking awesome!

Josiah : Hopefully k.Really hopefully.

Goodbye Twenty-O-Nine.

2009-12-31T14:41:00.004+08:00

what have you done.

like everyone who owns a blog,im going to reflect on the past year.time moves so fast,so fast that we dont realise.the past year have been a roller coaster ride going up and down and making sharp turns that hurts deeply.we laugh,we cry,we love and we got ourselves heartbroken.lets take a look at memory lane.

this year,the vits ushered the new year with a walk.a walk that took a year to reach home.we had fun with one another looking at fireworks and saying our resolutions.we have been together for a year or so,going through ups and downs in our journey.we provide listening ears to our brothers,protection to our sisters and love to every single one of us.i hope we do stay like this till we are old,when we have kids.i make sure my kids bullies all your kids.lol!

april is a month where i made many new friends.going through FOC 09/10 as a GL is one of my many best achievements i have in 2009.being a GL is really something that one will never forget.it is the experience of a lifetime.although it could be tiresome but the fun we had is just never enough.the hardwork we put in the march holidays,all paid off.from the scoldings to looking at how our freshie smile,its just the best thing a person could ever experience.

as i look upon the month of june,i remembered the friday morning shower.everyone must believe that whats living now will die later.he had always be someone who gives me the strength to work hard in life,guiding me through and teaching me how to survive.hes someone that i could depend on besides my friends. and hes the one that understands me the most.everyone at one point of time will lose someone they love.its how life kicks us down and makes us stronger in every possible ways we could.

every single month is a new chapter for me.to see how out heart is so fragile by words.i gave my heart and got it smashed.i feel so deep and i never could get out.i lost my faith in every single one.love like life knocks you down so hard that we cry at times,looking at ourselves and turn pessimistic.the only way out is to suck it and move on with life.

friends have been a pillar of strength in my life.they were the ones to guide me in life,be it bad or good they are always someone who would be there.this year people come and go.we make friends we lose friends.we can never have the best of both worlds.im thankful to every single one for making my 2009 a meaningful one.from love to club to sorrow to everything.thank you.

a note to myself.i am not going to make any resolutions this year but just a few in my mind to keep me going in 2010.whatever i started im going to stop it.im not go on empty promises that i usually make but just to keep this in mind and to keep me healthy.

so here im at the final hours on 2009 with no plans at hand.looking back at how fast 2009 went by.2009 gave me its worst shits and the best happy moments.this year haven been really something.i had loved and lost and this makes me a much stronger man.so as we bid farewell to 2009,lets all hope that 2010 will be a better year ahead filled with many adventures and a whole new ride for every single one of us.embrace the moment looking at the future.hopefully my karma meter restarts as a new year start.

to Vitamins :thanks for being there in my deepest sorrows.thanks for being a bunch of crazy people that i can go crazy with.thanks for the times we had fun and laugh our asses off.thanks for being the people i could depend on.although we might have misunderstandings here and there,we are still people who love one another.lets hope for better time to come in 2010.we took a year to reach kah ho's aunty place this year,how long are we gonna take this year?lets get a mass vitamins outing where every single one of us turn up again k.it was a joyful xmas with you guys.now that everyone in vits are 18,lets go lancing lancing.let aunty phoebe wear dress again.HAHAHA!and may loga become more fairer.HAHAHA!LOL!lurbxies euhhs giiesss manies manies worzxsh. HAHA! :)

to zx :bud is the beginning of a new year means we must begin a new chapter in our life.thanks for being there to listen to whine.thanks for the happy moments we have,thanks for being the one of the pillar of strength in my life.we shall island creamery when you come back and drool over the chicks at frolics.haha! :)

to waicheong and co. : i know i havent been spending much time with you guys.remember those good times we had back then?thanks for eveything you did.from your advices to being great friends.cheryl ee please stop being so fierce please.hope you guys have a blast k. :)

to manda and co. : you guys have been great people.we club,we laugh,we share our sorrows.remember social judgement is everywhere,its about how you fuck care dont care that settles it.although we might know each other not long ago, we are likea clubber family.haha!but sadly the pa is going cut down on it.so i might not appear much k.have a blasting 2010 alright.love you all many many.

to angel and li ling : hoi you retarded people.2 years ago we were at li ling's place talking our morning out.remember?with martin and mimi too.i still remember how martin psycho me in the morning while you guys just laugh at me.good times eh.haha!we shall meet up soon k.love you guys :D

to gilbert and co. : bert,val,russ.you guys have been an eye opener for me.you guys taught me many things about life that i would never understood or known.you guys have been people i could laugh,cry and talk with.you guys are always cheerful and sometime i do wish i could stay that way through time.just want to let you guys know that i dont know how but we do become brothers.happy new year people. :)

to every single one of you out there : if i ever hurt you through my actions or words,i would like to apologise yes.i wanna start the new year with no hatred,no hates,no enemies and no misunderstandings.every single one of my friends out there are my friends.LOL! so lets all pray that 2010 would be good to us.as we restart our karma meter lets all do good things.happy new year people :)

i hope i never leave anybody out.im going for a haircut now.goodbye and have fun tonight!

Happy New Year Everyone :)

With Love,

Mannan Coleman.

2009-12-28T02:40:00.000+08:00

hype means nothing.

maybe its time for miracles.

2009-12-28T01:37:00.003+08:00

just to keep my blog alive for the next three days while im away for camp.i shall do a little update.so christmas was pretty over,with lots of sharing and giving.from materials to matters of the heart we shared sorrows and joy.

2010 is coming at an awesome speed that makes me feel that the two weeks is rather short.with 2 camps packed this holidays it is no surprise that i will be complaining how short holidays are when school gets kicking again.

the next three days would be spent in school attending prep camp.and when thats over its gonna be the 30th of december.nothing planned up on 30th,so hurry and catch me while you can.31st would prolly be spending over at someone's place for countdown.perhaps like last year how we took 1 year to walk back to kah ho's aunt place.and on the 1st of jan would be the bloody beetroots over at zouk,cant wait man.they will be like 1,2 whoop whoop or 1,2,3 what a fireee!

ive yet to pack for tomorrow and im not sure if im able to get up early to go for a cold shower and hop on the bus to school.lets hope this camp is fun as im dreading it.goodnight people,love you.

my best wishes to you.

i will taste the sky and feel alive again.

2009-12-25T16:12:00.002+08:00

why do i feel sad when i should feel happy for her?

christmas ever was well spent with the lovely bunch of people over at boat quay.chilling out over beers and sheesha.it couldnt get any better could it.

earlier on was shopping for a few xmas present,well it wasnt that much.thanks bwx for the present k.im the boss.so to everyone who didnt give me a present,dont worry.you being my friend is already a present to me.so a merry christmas to all.

the lovely bunch moved from boat quay to riverside supposedly to join the crazy people for drinking.when we reached they were all so cui and knocked out.no mood to drink at all.had a little heart to heart talk,its been a long time since i had one.they quite made me realised a few things.life's got to go on.we saw how much people changed from good to bad,never can i escape from this.talking to them makes me feel that out there,out of the many friends i have,there would still be true friends around whom will guide you,give you the confidence that you need and be honest with life.

buddy have always been someone whom i trusted and able to relate to.merry xmas to you bud.shall island creamery soon k?

i guess life has pretty much changed for me.i could never say that it change for the good.i guess it was abit naive to do things that we really dont wanna do cause of love.in other words to contradict ourselves and pick up something we dont see our future as in the past.always at one point of time we do regret our actions back then.but still theres time to change.i remember how i advice my friend to stop smoking or rather cut it down.and i see how im doing it.lets make it a new year resolution to stop smoking.perhaps one day,karma wouldnt bug me so much.

one thing i learn today,is to let go and be happy that shes happy.

drenched in vanilla twilight.

2009-12-24T03:22:00.005+08:00

will we walk this journey through.

i guess this space have been as empty as my heart.its been a good 2 weeks since i last posted shits here.life has been taking a roller coaster since the start of common test till now.sometimes i smile to myself thinking about stuff and at times frown at the dissapointment i get.

common test was not an easy thing to get over with.4 papers in a row isnt a joke.so hardwork kinda paid off.my common tests nights were spent over at loft with bwx and co.laughters,rnb music,booze and the ciggies just couldnt get better eh.so tik tok common test passed by with a few screw ups.slept for 50 mins during my last paper which is 1hr 30mins long.fuck it uh.

party-ed for a bit till ANE XV.im the prog head for the camp.from these 5 days 4 nights i spent,i can say that being a prog head is not an easy job.it takes alot of communications and confidence.i dare not say that the camp went well,cause they were major screw ups.i take it as a lesson learnt which will prepare me,if ever i get another chance in the future.this camp taught me lessons which i will never forget and let go.whats over is over no point looking back and regretting on the decision we made.i tried my best,ive done my best.

i swear wee song,is damn joke.with his retarded facial expression and his moonwalk.life cannot get any better.super funny.kns.we crew spent our nights smoking,play bomb bags,sing song and play with colgate.although we are very small,we are united.we played open numbers to see who will put the bomb bags in different part of our body from the balls to ass crack and to armpit.waking up the girls by throwing them inside the sleeping bag.disturbing hong wei when he damn tired and couldnt wake up.we popped 12 party poppers and it failed.i guess crew is so much more fun then any other things.crew is cool.

so xmas is 24hours away.although i dont really celebrate it but the festive spirit is all around.freaking hyping around town,making buses jams and people standing packed like sardines in buses.sales everywhere,who can help themselves not to get stuff at lower prices.well at least the start of xmas isnt that bad.met the vits full strength over shokudo at heeren for a small xmas gathering.its like all the vits were there,luckily i went.eat,laughed,photo spam and home.although its a short still its meaningful where everyone took off time to be together before the year end to eat and laugh with each other.many new faces were introduced to vits,gets me wondering when will i ever introduce one to them.

i guess i would be free on the 25th since i have no plans yet.i know abit the loser.people out there partying and here i am at home sucking my thumb,frowning over dissapointments.i guess i lost faith in love and girls that brings you up and just let you fall at the end.its not easy to come back up after falling so deep.like they say,when emotions take over,our words tend to be so biased against ourselves.its just that we are 2 people,that was never meant to be.i aint giving myself false hopes anymore,once bitten twice shy.i lost my faith.

i would most prolly do some xmas shopping,grabbing those great deals off the shelves.get some presents in return to those who got me something.till then im hitting the sack in hope to start a new day hoping everything turns out well.good night people.stay healthy and have a great christmas,Merry Christmas to all.

When violet eyes get brighter,

And heavy wings grow lighter,

I will taste the sky and feel alive again.

And i will forget the world that i knew,

But i swear i wont forget you,

Oh if my voice could reach back through the past,

I would whisper in your eyes,

Oh darling i wish you were here.

Tag Replies:

WMAN: where got greedy siol!haha!

sharon: i know right.me and friends were bored and we came up with this.lol!

zhixian: you were the one who said it.meaningful.

wan ting: yeahs soon :)

ongtiantze: shahrul kana karma already.LOL!

2009-12-10T01:15:00.000+08:00

whywhywhywhy,sighs.

(Y)

2009-12-09T00:55:00.003+08:00

i will brave through the storm.
i will be able to make it to the other end.
im determined to change it.
im going to study.
im going to change my life.
im so full of determination.
i can do it.
i can do this.
i will pull through this like how i did for the past 3 months.
i will not let anyone down.
all thanks to stacy's mom.LOL!
and you. :)

Christmas Carol.

2009-12-07T23:37:00.002+08:00

On the first day of Christmas,
the great santa sent to me,
And an island name after me.

On the second day of Christmas,
the great santa sent to me,
two CDG,
And an island name after me.

On the third day of Christmas,
the great santa sent to me,
Three Gucci Belt,
Two CDG,
And an island name after me.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
the great santa sent to me,
Four Fenom Crush,
Three Gucci Belt,
Two CDG,
And an island name after me.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
the great santa sent to me,
Five Dior Homme,
Four Fenom Crush,
Three Gucci Belt,
Two CDG,
And an island name after me.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
the great santa sent to me,
Six Hermes Hats,
Five Hommes,
Four Fenom Crushs,
Three Gucci Belts,
Two CDGs,
And an island name after me.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
the great santa sent to me,

Seven LV Wallets,
Six Hermes Hats,
Five Dior Hommes,
Four Fenom Crush,
Three Gucci Belt,
Two CDG,
And an island name after me.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
the great santa sent to me,

Eight Visvim Fbts,
Seven LV Wallets,
Six Hermes Hats,
Five Dior Hommes,
Four Fenom Crush,
Three Gucci Belts,
Two CDGs,
And an island name after me.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
the great santa sent to me,

Nine YSL Tee,
Eight Visvim Shoes,
Seven LV Wallets,
Six Hermes Hats,
Five Dior Hommes,
Four Fenom Crush,
Three Gucci Belts,
Two CDGs,
And an island name after me.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
the great santa sent to me,
Ten MMJ,
Nine YSL Tee,
Eight Visvim Shoes,
Seven LV Wallets,
Six Hermes Hats,
Five Dior Hommes,
Four Fenom Crush,
Three Gucci Belt,
Two CDGs,
And an island name after me.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
the great santa sent to me,
Eleven Lamboghini,
Ten MMJ,
Nine YSL Tee,
Eight Visvim Shoes,
Seven LV Wallets,
Six Hermes Hats,
Five Dior Hommes,
Four Fenom Crush,
Three Gucci Belt,
Two CDGs,
And an island name after me.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
the great santa sent to me,
Twelve Pretty Girls,
Eleven Lamboghini,
Ten MMJ,
Nine YSL Tee,
Eight Visvim Shoes,
Seven LV Wallets,
Six Hermes Hats,
Five Dior Hommes,
Four Fenom Crush,
Three Gucci Belt,
Two CDGs,
And an island name after me!

i know i should be studying! we were at town waiting for bwx to be done and we heard this song.we started singing song anyhow.lol!ok time to study hard people.have a great week ahead!

Christmas Carol.

2009-12-07T23:37:00.001+08:00

On the seventh day of Christmas,
the great santa sent to me,

Seven LV Wallets,
Six Hermes Hats,
Five Dior Hommes,
Four Fenom Crush,
Three Gucci Belt,
Two CDG,
And an island name after me.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
the great santa sent to me,

i know i should be studying! we were at town waiting for bwx to be done and we heard this song.we started singing song anyhow.lol!ok time to study hard people.have a great week ahead!

turning into something beautiful.

2009-12-07T00:13:00.004+08:00

karma at best.

hello scratchmybackside, i dropped by to give this space a lil update. well the weekends was kinda bad cause i decided to help a good friend of mine for standard chartered.leaving my tutorials undone,programme that needs 'perfection' and sleep debt i've yet to pay.the last week was kinda hectic with tests and all.and i foresee that this week will not get any better.perhaps the storm will cease after the common tests yes.am being very hopeful here.practicals to on monday makes the week a lousy,with a little french on tuesday and a week closer to common tests doesnt make my life any easier.i need to be a good boy and listen in class instead of being a reculcitrant delinquent making my lecturer life difficult.time to pull up your socks boys,we are in for a ride of our lifetime.
school is at 9am everyday,im out man.goodnight.have a great week ahead. :)

p/s: stop smoking,mannan.

what we dont know.

2009-12-03T23:36:00.003+08:00

be strong,
smile always.

There was a time
When I was so broken hearted
Love wasn't much of a friend of mine
The tables have turned, yeah Cause me and them ways have parted
That kind of love was the killin' kind
Now listen
All I want is someone I can't resist
I know all I need to know by the way that I got kissed

-cryin'

where nobody knows.

2009-12-02T01:16:00.004+08:00

but dont look back in anger.

i should be sleeping but a little update wouldnt hurt right.over the past days i have been giving my self much thoughts and it kills everytime it comes around.i have decided to move on,throw your memories away and never turn back.i want to erase everything permanently so they dont come back and haunt me again.i have to be strong and accept.im never gonna cry,never gonna look back,never gonna reminiscene.cause i realised why do i care so much when they dont give a flying fuck about me,yes?we would be great friends k.i guess scratchmybackside would be more merrier now.looking forward to tomorrow.rest well everyone,chins up,socks up.common tests are coming.have a great week ahead. :)

until i saw the stranger that was you.

2009-11-29T22:56:00.004+08:00

i never forget.

the clock shows 10:56pm and im still clueless on how to do tomorrow's maths test.the only solution now is to look for my yellow formula list.school for the past week was good.im done and over with Introduction To Social Psychology.so my tuesdays are free,meaning time for to catch up with some work or perhaps a movie.lol!

hari raya wasnt much an effort.just some family members dropping by to catch up for abit.i still love my niece dania.shes oh so so so so cute man.taking photo with her is bo koh leng.lol!i didnt celebrate much but i did eat alot.so went over to town to meet up with wei jian and jo.end up i did my own stuff and they l4d2 all the way.

over the weekends were cheryl ee and waicheong's 18th birthday celebration.so they booked a chalet for the few close people they invited.went late on the first night and they already started drinking.keane,lewis & syndris all cui LOL! so it was buffet on the next night with more people arriving in the evening.theme of the party pyjamas partayy.ate,chill,talk and if wei jian is a millionaire he would buy a private jet and park in bishan park.LOL! or he would take 5 parking lots.joke of the day man.woke up early next day,clean out and book out.

right now im feeling rather reflective about my actions these few months.i knew i did throw my hopes and dreams away.to somewhere i thought i wouldnt find them.i was wrong.it all dawn back to me whenever you appear.i so much wanna forget everything and move on with life.i thought i wouldnt dwell into the past.makes me smile to see everything & tear when its just a failure.buddy told me to accept it,realize it & move on.its just 3 steps but filled with so much pain and sadness.like we always say; actions speaks louder than words.i will be strong and take it like a man this time.i loveD her,its time to move on.happy birthday.

its week 7 and im prepared for it.lets bring it on.

you'll find someone who love you the same way you love her.

Zhixian: Thanks Bud,thank you for everything.island creamery soon k!
PC: Scratchmybackside like appear on google uhh.my hair like nice righht.haha!
huiyin: like seriously funny right.im a father yknow.anws thanks alot yep.see you guys at outings soon.

all the things that we do.

2009-11-24T00:51:00.008+08:00

unpredictable isn't it.

if i were to rewind back,i wanna play the melody of my life all over again. however,you can never change this melody as it will remain the same even if you rewind and play it back again. how sad is that. once written on the tape it can never be erased it can only be rewinded in the mind and playback through your eyes. for you will imagine and force to believe this is the past and you can never change it.

i have been living for almost 18 years and never ever have i thought of what i would really really want to do. how long can we play and have fun. how long can we laugh at our sillyness and scratchourbackside till. i guess i need some life management skills to kinda sort out life.it would be a good module if school of IS to offer eh. i dont usually sit and spend quality time thinking about my future. or rather i like the talk now,think later feel uh.

i really hate night where i would think of the fun times i had,the sadness i cry for, the time i took to mend the broken heart.to think of everything from friends to families to happy and sad moments in life. it sucks doesnt it. you always want to hold great moments close your heart and place the unpleasant ones far from where our heart is. we sometimes do forget about the bad moments we have in life and we do sometimes manage to hide them,but for how long can we hide till we find them again. we cannot always have what we want for we would become selfish unthinking humans. the question lies,should i? a pretty easy question with a very difficult answer. never have i, found an answer to this. i should.

school's really something these few days. i dont know if i could cope with the piling work i have been abondoning for weeks and the sarcasm lecturers throw at me. i dont really take it to heart and take it as a joke.but i've got to come to senses that it aint a big fat joke.come on,wake up mannan.we got to pull through this. im determined to turn this mess around.

i wish i was stronger.

Eunice: hey,i enjoyed working alongside with you guys too.hope we had a great and memorable red camp 6!
Wenxing: yes son.lol!
PC: and how did you find scratchmybackside?
Jiayin: yep,i know im so nice to write here.haha! dont worry you guys will see more of me.i rebonded my front half of my head.heh! :)
Bel: yep i will soon :D

1, 2 whoop whoop.

2009-11-21T14:14:00.006+08:00

we are happy spartan family.

weekends are here and im home just rised and shined from yesternight lepak session with bert and val.well yesterday was quite an unfortunate event. well bert went to pick me up and we kinda got into some trouble. we continued as planned without vehicle to find val at town. settled over at dome for some dota sessions. took the last NR5 bus home.

well last week was e-learning week for the whole ME students. this means we stay home and do nothing but look at the laptop and punch our keyboard likeadog. but I was away back in school.yes i had RED CAMP 6! one word to describe it all AWESOME! red camp is different from the other camps that i had attended. if i were to tell you how awesome red camp is,it will take 100 days and 99 nights. it was full of fun,laughter,joy,smiles and everything else.well im thankful that i was chosen as an SL as this is my first red camp. i remember the times we had in SL camp from the inside jokes to taupok to mass dance(epic). We went through hardship together having lots and lots of fun together.

over the past 3 days i made many new friends, hopefully put a smile across everyone's face and gain experience.i learnt alot more in the different school in np. health sciences have really cool facilities which im unaware of. operating theatres, wards to even labour wards. you name it they have it.so in the labour ward a guy would supposedly act as a father to cheer the wife to give birth.so unfortunately im the only guy in the group so i have to volunteer.all i have to do is simple,cheer my wife on to give birth. it is just stimulation ah,saw how the nurses handle the baby popping out of the V.interesting i could say.the school of lsct is more dope. they fed us with dry ice biscuits and marshmallows which tasted so cooling and good.labbit are like so cute. but one thing about labbit is their shit smells like rotted shit.we really had good food in the 3 days of camp.they fed us good.HAHA! i always can remember cheers and the mass dance after the camp.well its been a great 3 days with the SLs, red campers and everyone.oh did it mentioned i missed a chance to go upclose with michelle chia.oh wells,better luck next time.

to all the SLs of spartans in red camp. thanks for being very hyper and always having fun together.we might only know each other for like 2 months? but we grew closer and closer to one another. we turn to one another in times of sadness and worries.we were there for each other. the times we made our fellow members laugh till they cry, with funny jokes and the not so funny jokes we have. i bet we had so much fun cheering,making our red campers laugh at our inside jokes and all. it shows how bonded we are as a tribe. i really had a great time with you guys working side by side to make this camp a wonderful one. thanks for all the memories you guys left me with which i would treasure for the rest of my life. we shall keep in contact and perhaps go to island creamery again.HAHA! i love you guys! SPARTANS FTW!

so im home feeling rather nappy.waiting for time to pass till 4pm to go at the back of my block to collect some stuff.hunting for a new wallet soon.cause mine is like oh so cui.tonight's plans is for peilin.might be hitting PH or Phuture.so see you people around,have a great weekend and keep scratching your backside.

oh ya,i rebonded my hair.LOL!

things that we let go,we never turn back.

2009-11-16T22:57:00.005+08:00

scartchmybackside had always been a place where i would want to share happy moments that i go through each day and the many many happy times of mamanan. i guess its rather difficult with emotions raging inside and the tears we can never find explanation for. it has always been a trademark to smile through the sadness and always giving a big big wide smile to everyone. life have been taking quite a down turn. with external and internal conflicts it couldnt get any easier,can it? i know i can turn this around.

the weekend was over and done with.hitting the night scene twice in a weekend is total madness.shant talk about it.sunday was spent over bukit merah.hit queensway for the job interview but they only want people who could commit for 3 months. so i walked around and bought a few stuff. went over geseho,there was a sale going on,raglan and a photo tee.(Y) went to je to collect some stuff and waited for val to end his driving.went over to town to walk for a bit.desserted as movies were completely booked.such a wonderful weekend isnt it.

this goes to people who are going through tough times. no matter what happens we have to move on with life. we can never be there waiting,wondering what went wrong. it could be either of our fault but life isnt fair. sometimes life comes and hit you like a train and sometime it lets you fly in the sky. either way we have to appreciate with what we have and treasure whatever's left. if you need anyone to talk to im just a click away,i would lend you a crying shoulder as long as you dont leave your eye shit behind.remember you have friends around whom love you much more.at time we got to suck it and accept the bitter truths and sometimes we just have to fuck care,dont care.

and this goes to you. as much as i dont want to bear grudges or hate people.but i just have to mention i hate the way you play the game. like what my friend once told me,we dont hate the players,we hate the game.and i fucking hate the way you play it. you change them like you change your underwear. i dont care if you have thickskin rather thicker then my fats combined but please know people out there hate it. you are so sensitive,i could jolly well make you a flying donkey.i swear.every man has limits to his patience,ive yet to reach mine with you.i shouldnt care so much about what you are doing.but as a friend i have to point out that what you are doing makes people judge you. i dont want to get judged just because we play the same game. i dont want people to associate me with you making me look as if im part of your game doing the same shit you do,i aint. and please dont contradict what you say. sometimes its rather hilarious to hear two side of the stories that leads to your humour.get the joke now. i shall not go on with your story cause its just never ending. i just wish you good luck finding your way out.

on a brighter note red camp 6 is here.yes tomorrow reporting time is 715am.so i would be missing these 3 days out for camp.get me through my mobile to reach me.have a great week people.

My son said,
Loving someone is not about appearance,
looks or whatever shit,
It's by the heart dad.

your heart starts to wonder.

2009-11-11T00:06:00.004+08:00

its been quite sometime since i last opened up www.blogger.com/post-create. its wednesday on the 4th week of school and nothing is going in up there.em3b,thermo,appliedmech all gone with the wind. looks like im attending my teacher's enrichment classes.my classmates will know what im talking about. let me recall what happened over the weekend.

last friday had npsu meeting followed by a short astro activity. went home feeling not so good.the bro inc. called for a late night supper over at ameen.so bert picked me up and with val and russ we went ameen for supper.talked and chilled for a bit before we hit irc for some dota action.playing there with them was great. could see the anticipation of bringing down the throne and the shouting from val.had fun that night. homed at 4am close to 5 i think.

slept through my saturday morning to wake up to go for team bonding day in school. had fun with the people i havent seen in the longest time of my life.lewis drove me and jo to kap for our supper before head home to chill for a bit. met buddy at town,freaking traffic jam swarmed down orchard road. we bused down to PH for whoop whoop. i dont know,i think i was high on the king's drink.smoked like nobody business. i know got to cut down. slowly but surely. overslept in the bus,homed at 7.

slept through my sunday only to wake up at 4pm. was suppose to meet wenxing and shah to head to geseho which opens only on sunday. i guess i have to head there this coming sunday. its on sale.i heard the tees are dope man. so met val and all for dinner over at amk hub then for lulians nearby. slacked and talked before making our way home at 9plus.

mondays always suck to the core.lessons at 9am with maths test in the afternoon just makes the day worse.maths was difficult,obviously and my numbers and calculations really cannot make it.so after school went home and fuck i was early home and my door is locked.meet up with wenxing at queenstown as he went to alter his stuff at his aunty shop.just behind my block.we head over to queensway for dinner.

yknow i never really wanted to say all those words towards you.it hurts for you to listen and it hurts even more for me to say.i never wanted to be a disrespectful person like all those kids out there neither would i wanna be someone whom appears in your worst nightmare.i know in the fit of anger,i just have to shout and be dissapointed at your actions.but what i say dont really meant it,do i? what you have been doing is too much and i can never take in anymore.every human have their limits and i just reached mine.i see how selfish you people can be.always complaining,always talking big,always saying good things about other people and comparison which never eloped.yknow what, fuck them all.so what if other people son and daughter are fucking good,so what they always get good things for their parents,so what if my father is not like theirs.why kp so much.if you have to be so jealous and always say so much fucking good stuff about other people son.please and go be their mother.i see how we dont interact much,i see how much you love them more than you love me,i see how you always compare me with other kids.i dont really care.i am myself and this is how i was brought up with a dad by my side.yknow what i dont give a flying fuck.i never wanted much,all i wanted was fairness on how you treat your children.fucking screw it la.you always say things which arent reasonable to me,it doesnt make sense neither it sounds logical.you think your family is so good?you listen to someone who isnt even in your family and you make judgements.please fucking judge me.i dont give a damn.so much for being a family.you get me into trouble,you say you wouldnt care,you talk big but why do you still care.it irritates me so much.whatever you did i never really brought it up.i never really complained.but its just fucking too much.everyday you have to complain about something,everyday somewhere somewhat will not be right.what do you want me to fucking do.beat my own mother.i fucking hate the older generation,call me naive,i dont give a flying fuck.whats the problem with the generation gap.fucking cb.

sorry its abit angsty.just have to type it out.it will better in the days to come.lessons at 9am.gotta hit the bean bags.goodnight and have a great week ahead.

and everything,it will surely change.

2009-11-05T00:29:00.004+08:00

as long as you know,i once loved you.

yknow as time passes by people begin to change.emotions we use to have dissapears and new emotions starts to grow.we see how people change either for the better or for the worse yet we still do accept them.i looked back in time, three months ago.im always excited to go to school hoping that i would bump into her.ever felt that way?yknow how her smile can make you smile for the whole day.i just miss those feelings.i have never loved someone so deep,perhaps it was all just my foolish thoughts.well it took a great three months to see me up,smiling and scratchingmybackside.it has been three good months.

ive seen how time changes people's appearance,attitiude and even thinking.ever felt like dwelling into the past to feel how you could not feel now.have you ever made a crucial decision which you regret making.i never did.i never regret any of my decision.even though the decision could be impulsive or made on our own intuition we still dont regret any decision we make.for we as humans always make the best decision for ourselves.i dont regret making that decision,as it was the best decision for me.to love you.

its the 150th post for scratchmybackside.i realised many eyes are set on this space.i try my best not to be so open up in this space as people might judge me.but still thanks for coming by to read whats in the mind of a fat little boy that walks in np.heh.schools out at 9am,gotta catch some sleep.goodnight :)

karma is calling.

2009-11-03T23:43:00.002+08:00

soon i will stop.

today ISP lesson was over at town doing social experiments.my group came to a decision to act as gay and sit beside some random people.what we wanted to find out is what the person would feel when one of us move closer to them.obviously their personal space would be disturbed and they would feel threatened or uncomfortable.so most of the time we were successfull.there were times when we fail,can put on failblog.so another social experiment was to drop coins and see who would stop and help to pick up.sadly we rather watch then lend a helping hand.unless there are rewards,we would never move our toe.so bla bla bla and that sums up my tuesday.

if you havent noticed i put up a list of ten important things i need to do.i have already written it down on a piece of paper safely kept in my wallet.to achieve or not to achieve i will not give myself empty promises that i always do.its kind of a goal i want to achieve in the future.so whenever i achieve the things i have in this list i will post it up.although some of you can roughly guess what they are,i would never reveal them till i fulfill them.good luck.

these days i have been doing alot of thinking.or rather reflecting.i realised so many things i need to do,so many things that i have to change.i know i have been saying this for countless times and it never really work.lets just hope for the best,yes?i couldnt be bothered by what people have been saying behind my back or what their impression of me now.i couldnt care less.as long as i know i still do have people who believe in me and the trust they give that one day i would change for the better.no one is born perfect and we have our weaknesses and strength.so why do you care?

put your hands up in the air.

2009-11-02T00:45:00.006+08:00

doctor mamanan.

its finally the end of yet another week full of ups and downs and lots of uncertainty. i survived 2 weeks of school and nothing got into the space at the top(my brains).school was like usual boring lectures,naggy and emo lecturers,tons of mafths questions and teacher that pester for work non stop.yknow how contradicting for me to say at every start of every sem that i will study hard and my actions doesnt speak louder then my words.

so the weekend was a blast i guess.31 oct,halloween at any other club.dress code,anything is possible.yet i cant be bothered to dress up.ok perhaps a little bit of shimmery white lipstick.but still those hardcore star wars fan,arabian girls,angels and freaking hot nurses win handsdown man.halloweened over at phuture with the usual gang with some of dan's sec school friend.was abit high not that high but still alright.haha!it was awfully packed with party goers which makes moving around alot harder.so it was great booze,great company,great music, great night and a toast to mission accomplished.so happy to bump.

school's out at 9am tomorrow,practicals.cant miss it for the world man.got to turn in.have a great week ahead.

mak cik keropok in the club eh~ eh~

marisk hargitay.

where my people go.

dont judge the book by its cover.

when i see you smile.

2009-10-27T22:13:00.003+08:00

Today my ISP teacher returned the results to the quiz we took about the way we study. Im rather agreeable to the results that i gotten. It explains so much similar things that i have in my attribution. Let me share some strong factor that i have.

Activists (DO)
-Immerse themselves fully in new experiences
-Enjoy here and now
-Open minded, enthusiastic, flexible
-Act first, consider consequences later
-Seek to centre activity around themselves

Reflector (REVIEW)
-Stand back and observe
-Cautious, take a back seat
-Collect and analyze data about experience and events, slow to reach conclusions
-Use information from past, present and immediate observations to maintain a big picture perspective

now how many of them are true.

Getting by each day seems tougher and tougher. Yknow how it feels to go to school looking forward to bump into someone. The cheap thrill you get when you see them? No longer does it exist within me. Realised how loser one could be,when he couldnt be her saviour. Never could he tell her how the world revolves with history nor would he be able to save a heart from being shattered. We all could just watch as days passes by and do nothing about it till they come back crying. Lets all just hope for the best and be ready to lend a shoulder to cry on.

have we ever thought?

2009-10-27T00:15:00.004+08:00

have we ever felt that we are always to be blamed for whenever something crops up. can we differentiate friends from true friends. how many times do we get people to stand up for us, talk to us about our mistakes, listen to our worries and sadness and be there for us like a real true friend would. many out there are just our hi bye friends, how many are your real friends. i took sometime to reflect after i saw my friends fb updates. it somehow hits me like a train,thoughts running through in a rush hour.it made sense. sets me thinking through a train of thought that seems endless.so how many actually are there. let me share with you people.

A reporter ask val, " why are you so annoying and irritating at times?"

Val replied, : because i am myself.

Reporter ask again, : Not only that, i heard you talk without considering others feelings.

Val replied, : because i am myself.

Reporter ask again, : then others also said that you like to blurt out secrets people have told you.

Val replied, : Its because of question 1 and question 2, people conclude about Question 3.

Now in lsct(my school) Year 3 got a common acknowledgement..., as long as their secret is exposed - everything val say one. As long as they need someone to find blame for, VAL SAY ONE RIGHT!

Reporter was so excited that he asked another question, : but isn't act cool and talk like a gentleman is good for wooing girls?

Val replied, : I'm not a perfect person, so i'm not gonna try to be one. Live like a hypocrite and you get what you want. Live like yourself, you don't get what you want, But you get self satisfaction. I can always make friends easily ...by offering them cigs , treat them drinks, and care for them.Or i can make true friends by scolding them, helping them only when they are in need, and care for them by saying they are in fault when they truely are.

Reporter, : thank you for the interview.

its good to reflect on how live our life these days. you may never when people change. now where are you people.

just a passing rain.

2009-10-26T13:24:00.001+08:00

i am in thermo class not bothering about what the lecturer is saying.i know im a bad boy. :( keane crashed my lecture and hes playing lol.first time blogging through my phone.seems cool eh.

okay shall i keep my blog updated as much as i can. have a great week people. :)

i shall keep my mouth shut,
who am i to you anws,
im just someone out there,
whom we just say hi and bye to,
i know i sholdnt have start,
damn right i shouldnt,
best wishes. :)

without you.

2009-10-24T02:56:00.003+08:00

thanks buddy, :)

its a wonderful saturday night,here i am updating this space as i had gave this space a little renovation. coughs started its domination since i started huffing and puffing. the wu gui's made a little promis that we dont unless we see each other. this way we would be puffing less and enjoying a longer life more.

ever felt your heart shattered into a million pieces.ever tried to put the million pieces together and it cuts you deeply when you try to fix it. ever felt so childish to lose a friend after rejections ever felt as though you were never good enough for anyone or perhaps to ugly for the world to accept.ever wondered how they feel about you. have ever you thought the deepest matters of the heart.now think again.

yknow nobody escapes from social judgement.everywhere,everytime,always we would be judged by the people around us.be it good or bad we can never run away from the bitter reality. unhappiness,jealousy,humour we all take it lightly but it was never the same humour the person get. ever thought how the person would feel,have you selfish people ever spare a thought for them? then why dont we just publicise it in the news, put it on the billboard, write in to stomp, do an advertisement on television. want to feel good,yes? do it then. if it does make you feel superior , i will give you two (Y) (Y) up.

i know,i realised,i feel that i have change for i dont know(the worst)? i just need some time,some time for me to think and reflect again. thanks to those who cared. i came across this phrase some where "Move on Its just a chapter in the past but dont close the book,just turn the page". it seems true,very true.

i know its a rather angsty post. this is my space and i deserve to write what i think here. dont like the way i made you feel guilty,eff off then. lets look to better days,with cheerful entries where i would scratchmybackside.

i will be miserable at best.

im running away,leaving this man.

2009-10-23T00:24:00.002+08:00

it has almost been a week since school kick start its torment on students.ive been part of its suffering and its no joke. i know i have been missing out on updates and all. so much came and went by in a blink of an eye.

from jo's birthday bash,to night scene to meetings and meetings,to outings,to happiness,to sadness,to everything that happen the last week or so. so much that i couldnt remember them in chronological order. no point looking back into the past but just look at the days ahead which i deemed would be diffuclt. so lets see if i could make the best out of the days that are coming and be someone whom i used to be and want to be.

there are ten things which i want to stop,and these ten things are somehow things which i developed over time.shall not reveal them here as it is for me to know and for none to find out. all i can say is that i screwed my life,social judgement,trust and relationships.

i shall smile for the world to see and my heart to feel. 8am lesson tomorrow,hello maths teacher i need your enrichment lessons.goodnight.

its alright,its god damn alright.

that i just want you to know.

2009-10-13T21:34:00.006+08:00

i wanna be your rockstar.

hey heh heh ho. i know it has been a week since the last last last post! my blog is turning dull and dead ehhh. so here am i updating this empty space as empty as my heart. HAHA! so corny.life
have been really good. i can say its better to smile than lie in sorrows.

so i was away from 6 to 8 october for team bonding camp. i totally enjoyed the camp although it was a small group.smaller group more bonding more fun (Y). from the
company to the night/trail walk to the bonding session to the campfire. awesome shitzzz.
its way better then the tbc i attended before and no regrets i made many new friends! i love the tbc cheers to claps that was made. hilarious much? HAHAHA!
so 3 days of camp went by in a blink of an eye. unforgettable experience i could say. all the
memoirs of FOC egypt came rushing back and it made me miss being a GL so much

so the weekends came and it was time to partayyy? hell yeah! went to phuture over at zouk with hairband boy,manda,choo choo,leslie choo,weijian kor kor,logeh,peilin and the mvp val. well i think i had a little bit too much, oh oh oh oh. there was crazy booze all over,best night scene for me till naow! housed over at leslie choo place with val and manda. head home in the morning with hangover hanging over our body. ok sounds logical. great booze, great company, great night!

went out to bugis to meet wei jian and laksana for a supposedly hair make over session which did not happen. slack over at tpy to wait for manda to end work before dinner over at pizza hut! and laksana should stop using vulgarities before hair starts growing all over.remember karma!

blood donation drive publicity drive already started. well i think its quite slack this year
compared to last year. which is really really tiring. so far it had been quite good with the helpers
being able to give out everything! well done boys! and so it continues for the next few days!

so for now have a great week before school starts. drink first,talk later! :D
im not looking back,i promise.

deep and meaningless.

2009-10-06T01:35:00.008+08:00

im here to give a short update of today's happening! went over to school at 11am with only 2 hours of sleep. meet the spartans over at atrium and we began our video shoot.from places to places we travel. laughters, kelwyn spastic language capability, from top of the hill marching back to cc to get scolded by aunty. after filming had dinner over at makan place.chit chat about many many stuff,head over to holland v to chill.ate chicken wings which tasted darn good.beered and chill over at indochine before we went our seperate ways.great day with spartans.

Betty,Sakinah,Jhovanie.

Spartons.

Lynno!

Miranda,Betty!

BETTY!

so im off for team bonding camp tomorrow.dont miss me people.have a great week ahead.

p/s : vitamins outing on friday for sushi.please do turn up.we need everyone! cheers! :D

________________________________________________________

I, I dont know why i miss you so much
Yeah I, I dont know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the question why

Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection

If you call me today
Ill say that Im fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
Its just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had

There are many things left to remind me
Of a love that I just cant leave behind me

sighs.

1,2 whoop whoop.

2009-10-05T06:19:00.004+08:00

please?

i know its been a very nong nong time since the last posts. i realised i always start my blog entry in such manner. so bowing right. (xmm language.LOL!) i was contemplating on whether to blog as i have to be up early to go for spartans video! it feels so empty right here at scratchmybackside. well life had been pretty good and i really meant it this time. although it feels like shit at times but like what they always say life is full of ups and downs. yes,agreed?

okay let me recall what happen for the past week:

monday to wednesday: time spent over in school or rather loft for SL Camp. its actually not a new experience to me as i have gone through FOC Egypt.started out like normal camp stuff.ice breaking,games and all. its more of a bonding camp as a matter of fact. we the spartans are always laughing and enjoying ourselves in everything we do. with the likes of funny people around,yes spartans is the home to be. spartans flag was the nice-estest. i guess the camp brought our mind and hearts together as one?

pictures spam over at fb.go check it out.

on wednesday night: met val,russ,uk greg over at city hall.food court for dinner and off to butterfact. greg had some connection so we did not need to queue.phew! queue was effing long! free flow of booze,great music,great company,headbanging boy bawang,mac-ed and cabbed home with new friends : brice and faris.

i think i slept through my thursday and did nothing out of that good weather.i guess i had a little too much the day before.but not wasted though!

fridays were spent in school having a briefing for like only 10 people? its f pathetic. i mean if the volunteers do not want to help out anymore or could not make it. at least have the courtesy to inform? imagine waiting for people you are expecting to turn up and only a handful turned up. some took the initiative or have that little bit of respect to inform that they are not turning up. well im not angry,im just dissapointed.

went out jalan raya on saturday. do some final visiting before raya wraps up for the year. had some delicious lunch over at my uncle's open house. big,bigger,biggest(soon).then caught up with valli to meet the daniel and co. for supperclub. it was a huge dissapointment over there.music was 4/10, booze was 7/10, company 10/10!HAHA! made some new friends! valli got grinded by gay!LOL!it was epic,he has gayophobia now!HAHA! okays so slack over at mac and the idea of russ winding down the side windows of the cab shouting at us "no money take cab home ar" just keeps playing in my mind. LOL. slack over at starbucks before taking a train to the hood. had a great laugh over there. you (V).

slept through my sunday morning till the late afternoon.pictures were up on facebook abouta night before. chill and slack for abit before heading to town to meet russ,val and daniel. watched surrogates over at cine. not that of a bad show,3.5 outta 5. val and daniel left for home, while me and russ waited for bert to pick us up for supper. went to chong pang for the famous nasi lemak? chit chat for a bit and home. the boys are going to the government gym and to serve the country in like 3 days? well good luck to them,have fun and dont pick up that bar soap! LOL!

Its too funny to see him naked at the top.

Check out russ's hair.he looks like some cheena man. LOL!

Gilbert that future policeman.

so im thinking whether i should hit the sack after this post or should i dota till its time to go.oh yes im going for team bonding camp tomorrow and will be away till thursday.till then dont miss me,have a great time and dont get yourselves into shit. remember we dont hate the players,we hate the game. have a great week ahead! :D

party like a rockstar.

2009-09-27T23:59:00.002+08:00

capture the moments when its gone.

its been awhile since my last happy posttt.life had taken a downturn but im trying to get back up on my own two feet.the weekend had been great.really awesome.

went visiting to my fathers sibling places.at every house i drop by the host ask me eat.so everywhere i go,i eat.different houses different food.wahh cannot tahan.eat till my tummy so round,it looked like the moon.LOL!so caught up abit with my cousins and yes,i have a 30 something cousin.cool eh.moolah was great.hahaha!

met laksana over at orchard.we dropped by cotton on body to check out some chicks,guess who we caught.a chipmunk.corrine and fion happened to be there.so trained down to clarke quay to meet sheryl and poof we are over at rebel taking tequilla shots.yess clubbbinnggggg.hop from rebel to zirca to and fro.house music was power,rnb was the secksss.the place was crowded likea geylang times 2.it was happening,ecstatic and power la siahl.LOL!took the first bus home after chilling over at macs,washing eyes.LOL!and sheryl i know what you did in the club.HAHAHA!

spent half of my sunday snoring away.woke up,changed and went queensway.used up half of my raya moolah on something.hope to receive it soon!(Y).went home to watch the f1(please take note,im not a big fan).the cars going round in circles makes me damn sleepy.spinning my head right round right round.

i have yet to pack for sl red camp tomorrow.havent sign indemnity form also.i will be off for sl red camp from 28 to 30.and heading to mambo on wednesday night!anyone interested just come ok.okays got to pack my stuff.see you people in 3 days time.have a great week ahead.

its no surprise i wont be there tomorrow :D

its all yellow.

2009-09-25T21:37:00.004+08:00

i know its been a while since a proper update.like i always say nothing much really happens in my life.well my body clock is screwed for sure.weird sleeping time?

6am to 12pm(sleep)
6pm to 12am(sleep)

so the rest of the time im awake either gaming or online window shopping.insomnia is really a killer when you dont get to sleep and you really want to go to bed but you cant.well raya is pretty much over? at least for me.but still i think im going for some last visiting to my father side of family tomorrow before im away for camps.

send off part of the vits away to cambodia.they will only come back 2 weeks later?so vits is down in numbers.wont be seeing us going out as some are working.but you'll see me and laksa hitting the dancefloor.lol!

i caught i love you beth cooper with a friend.it was a good show,really and if only love stories do turn out great in the end.oh well,fuck them.what happens in the movie dont fucking happen in reality.had a great day though!

i still cannot get the point old people wanna tell me.so yes,my proposal got rejected again.its getting tiring to spend time doing it up and just get rejected just because of generation gap.

and can we move on and never talk about people who no longer exist.whats the point of asking for forgiveness on hari raya and the next moment we are swearing and cursing at the slightest thing involving people who dont fucking exist anymore.sorry if im too sensitve,hes my dad afterall.

i see my life changing idk for the worse? im tired of all these shit.if only i never had fallen so deep,i guess it would be much better for us or rather me to move on.the slightest thoughts of it giving reality a chance to kick my ass.a wake up call.it sucks,yes definitely.people around say we just need to take our mind off and do something else.but what if we are doing something else but always thinking of it.i learn my lesson,never to give my all.sighs.sorry i am having a bad time of my life.have a great weekend peeps.

oh im not looking towards the next sem.4 fucking difficult modules. :/

a special raya.

2009-09-21T00:09:00.006+08:00

this year raya started very early in the morning.as early as 2am.yep i was up cleaning my room which had been procrastinated for a very long long time.and by sunrise i was almost done.went to supermarket to buy 20 bottles of soft drinks,yep thats alot i know.so ask for forgiveness from our old ones.cabbed to my late father's sister house at around noon.we do this every single year.but this year is different,its without dad.so had a little chit chat session and abit of lunch you could say.memories of the past raya suddenly hit me.the seat was no longer occupied,dad is no longer here.the silence on the dining table seems very inevitable.everyones chewing their beef,slurping the curry.everyone stared hard at their servings,not wanting to relive the memories.its disheartening to see my aunty cried when she look at us.she feels the pain looking at us growing up without him.on a beautiful saturday raya morning i reflect on life and how unpredicatble.like i said,when we are trying to change for the better,time does not allow.

so ask forgiveness as this is a must for youngsters cause we are young in the mind and hot in the heart.cabbed back home and waited for my mum's brothers and sisters to arrive.so i shall not bore you guys with words,lets have a picture spam.have a great day.

Part of my collections.

The 20 bottles,me and sis bought.

Before being whipped.

Ketupat.

The fired chicken before.

And the aftermath. (Y)

I never tried it but looks good eh.

The a-must-to-have in every raya.

Kuih lapis.

This is like the sex man.Honey Cornflakes (Y)

The raya delicacies.

Proud of myself yes.

The 2 most irritating sister one could ever have.LOL!

The first family that came.no worries hes not feeling well.LOL!

I look tall among my cousins yes?and dark too -.-

This is dania,she is very cute!

My cutest niece,Dania!

My niece misha.adorables isnt she.

This is my cousin atikah.

And for the record. :D

and tomorrow is part 2.Have fun guys :D

seperti tahun yang lepas.

2009-09-20T01:52:00.004+08:00

seperti yang saya sudah janji,saya akan update dalam bahasa melayu.hari in adalah hari terakhir semua umat islam di singapura berpuasa.saya amat gembira kerana saya dapat clubbing dan lepak-lepak dengan kawan-kawan.sebelum saya megumumkan apa-apa,saya mahu ucapkan ini kepada semua teman-teman saya.

Kepada teman-teman yang ku sayangi dan kasihi.sempena hari raya ini,ingin ku susun sepuluh jari untuk minta maaf dan ampun sekiranya ade terkasar bahasa,tersalah silap,termaki hamun,tersakiti hati sesiapapun dan semua yang jatuh dalam kategori itu.saya harap makan minum yang telah diberikan di halalkan dan kesalahan di ampunkan.sekali selamat hari raya maaf zahir dan batin.ini tidak ditujukan kepada teman-teman yang menyambut hari raya tetapi kepada semua teman saya.

bilik tidur saya belum lagi habis dibersihkan.saya harus berhenti membersihkan bilik kerana adik-adik saya belum lagi kemas barang-barang mereka.masih ada banyak lagi yang harus dikemas dan dibersihkan.aduh hai.esok saya akan pergi melawat sedara sebelah ayah dan duduk di rumah tunggu sedara ibu.saya agak excited untuk berjumpa dengan saudara-mara yang sudah lama tidak jumpa.menulis dalam bahasa melayu agak susah dan mengambil saya masa yang lama.haha!

dengan itu selamat hari raya kepada semua! :DD

Pusing Pusing Terlanggar Hantu,
Golek Golek terhantuk Tiang,
Jauh Di Mata Hatiku Rindu,
Bila Dekat Semakin Sayang.

i like that boom boom pow.

2009-09-19T03:05:00.006+08:00

we move on.

what if i tell you im a time traveller.i travelled back to the past to remember what i did for the past week.sounds freaky,nope.its fucking cool shit.i know im like updating this space for like once a week.yes blablabla,boring stuffs.its the same old weekly routine that i go through every week.meetings,cca,meetings,dota.what do you want me to tell you about?

had a mini vits outing on a crazy thursday afternoon.with the likes of logeh,daniel club laksana,zatgjy,lynette bubbles all either not in sg or mia.so we kinda caught the time traveller's wife.i would say its a show worth watching and shedding a tear.how crazy it would be if you could time travel?but how sad to know the day you take your leave,leaving the people you love.Imagine the anxiety of knowing you are nearer to your death.thats one thing about time travelling, but i wish i could win toto like that.lol!

i stayed up through the night like i always did,waiting anxiously for my results to be out.i pinned my hopes high as i scored well in CTs.hoping for a gpa of at least 2.75 and above.how dissapointing.my gpa could even drop from the last sem.well done.all my effort of last minute super hardwork did not pay off i guess.me and the guys, we need a new technique and stunt to pull through next year's exams.any ideas? so accepted the results,suck it like a man and moved on.dont even have to get a brochure for uni.nie hopefully.

so got a very long refreshing sleep before i head to plaza sing in the evening to get a short novel.its by this author low kay hwa.not sure if you guys ever heard of this guy.but he writes wonderful stories man.stories that move you to tears(yes i subdued to that), stories that change your perspective on life.its a definitely a read man.i just completed the latest book,lilith , like before i started blogging.its a story about this girl who is HIV-positive and how the world looks down on her.the rest is up to you to read.(Y)

so tmrw would be the last day of the fasting month.i did a great job this year by skipping only 2 days.last year skipped fasting like free only.i guess its what i had aim and my goals that i set that motivated me.so raya is around the corner and i have yet to look for my baju kurung,clean my house and shave my goateee.shall do it all tomorrow.h-o-p-e-f-u-l-l-y!my house would be in big hoo haa soon as my grandma and mum take on the chicken and beef to delicious dishes.boiling those ketupat which reminds that i have yet to put up that lights decoration.sheez.quite excited for raya though,all my little cute nieces and nephews :DD

so do lookout for tmrw's night post.i think i will be posting it in pure malay language.i try my best though.my mother tongue is very bad now cause i dont really speak malay outside of home.so here is a cheers to a great weekend.have fun but stay out of shit!HAHA!

my next week's plan:

monday-raya la sia.
tuesday-meeting with tt(zzz).
wednesday-out to somewhere.
thursday-bdd meeting.
friday-astro activity.
saturday-stay home,people might come.
sunday-same as above.lol!

time and time again.

2009-09-16T22:13:00.003+08:00

promise?

it came out like a river once i let it out.

2009-09-14T07:36:00.003+08:00

it has been 3 weeks since fasting month started.and its ending in a week's time.how short,how ironic.HAHA!have been lately with astro programmes and stuff.and this space seems so empty without my daily doses of happiness.so anws life had been great?

i couldnt really remember what i did the past week, but i certainly remember what i did last weekend.im getting the monday blue's and its kinda crappy.

last weekend started with astro overnight stay.play games,youtube-ed,nightwalk-ed,obs and lepak.woke up late on a great saturday.went over to suntec to meet the vits.the mia peepos(jo,kah ho-working, daniel laksana-homeland, chun yang+vanny+xt-m.i.a).walked around comex and ate over at subway.wj and zat ps-ed me leaving with the 3 girls.best! they started talking about korean pop stars and dont know what on earth.i heard TOP'S name being repeated,must be some idol to females?i tried my best to understand their "interest",i know my chinese language powerful enough to understand them.they got so excited talking about it and phoebe could go on all day man.just pray hard top's gonna bring you breakfast in the morning.LOL! oh yea,someone teach me canto please.so i can scold that bloody cow when school re-opens.

went over to marina to walk walk on a beautiful sunday?then met up with kai and co for dinner at marina food court.lepak and bus home.so that was my weekend.i know its boring right.

oh yes,i screwed my msn contacts.this is what happen:

i saw many emails in my phonebook.so i,mr smart decided to delete all of the emails in the phonebook without knowing that i already sync my phone msn to my laptops.when i already deleted my contacts,i went to sync it once again. www.Gg.com.sg/stupidity .so wala i lost all my msn contacts.and if you guys happen to see this,talk to me on msn.cause i cant see you guys,you guys can see me.naize.

ive got like 1 hour to go before i get ready to go to school.today's the red camp SL inauguration.uh im not quite excited for it actually.so much had been on my mind.i guess you were right,when you see someone you like.no matter what,the heart overwhelms everything.i can hear the raya songs blasting through the radio,i can see spring cleaning part 3 coming.
i will be twitting more than i blog.so follow me.have a great week people.6 more days :)

i will be far far away.

even if the sky is falling down.

2009-09-09T02:17:00.003+08:00

i hope everyone is doing well so far.my life been pretty screwed up,apart from insomnia.problems at home seems tiresome.i still dont understand what they are thinking or the problem just lies with me.

on a great sunday afternoon went to meet the npsu and ece peeps for a singapore run event.it was somehow fun over there walking the f1 track.went for dinner over at carls jr in marina.it was somehow valli's farewell dinner.had a great time over there laughing.valli you take care over at australia man.hope those aussies chicks wont run away from you(refering to your hair).have fun and come back safely.dont forget souveniers too.HAHA!

i couldnt really remember what i did on a monday.but i had to go to school to give all the volunteers a briefing about the event.i guess it was kind of informal one.who likes a tense meeting anyways.so after that went to npsu to slack and kill time by sleeping on the couch.it feels so comfortable but rather warm.the reason i was sleeping there was because i dont wanna go home and do spring cleaning for raya.they were cleaning before i left,so i afraid they havent finish when i come home.i know im lazy.

today went out to buy a samsung qwerty phone,b7320.totally love its function and the qwerty keypad man.went over to vivo walk around,window shopping.bought 2 small packs of nasi lemak,no appetite to eat.feels dam lousy today,idk why.jogging have been great.every night 2.4km.if im doing this,im doing it for myself.

yknow i was reading through escapers21.livejournal.com. i read through oct posts by me.written during fasting month.i see how much i have changed over a year.my use of english perhaps was better?i had so much free time compared to now.i saw myself reading books afer books during my free time.i saw fear of my uncle's cat in the diary.i saw how love changed into dissapearance.theres a post,i promise not to cry.this promise broken so many times.why such a weakling?and i saw my raya post,a joyful day with dad.

have a great week ahead people.

loves mannan :)

true isn't it.

2009-09-05T04:29:00.005+08:00

i want to be young like him

holidays have been quite a bore,with never escaping school grounds and staying put at home.been dotaing in the night and trying to get some beautiful sleep in the day before commitments drag my body out of bed to school.

i have been down to school almost everyday of the week for meetings and countless meetings.so my first meeting was with astro advisor.he couldnt allow most of the fun game i had planned in camp.so butter hill is out.damn that game is considered one of the best.so astro peeps,there wouldnt be any butterhill in ANE.so meeting with him was over,i still cannot suck it that those reasons were behind my games to be cancelled.good job.ask you guys,does a girl wearing a wet t-shirt turn you on?i know its unexpected but thats what he thought would happen.so i got the choice to carry out my wet games in the swimming pool with girls wearing swimsuit to protect their modesty.i got fucked by saying " so i let them wear swimsuit to play wet games outside the pool la since wet t-shirt not allowed?oh well.thats the reason why i hate the older generation,their mindset so much different from us.we gotta move on yes?

so next was blood donation drive publicity.nothing much about it except i have to do changes to the date and do a briefing for all volunteers on monday.well its quite difficult with the "bank" being abit stingy.so thats one problem we have.other than that everything is going as per normal.earlier on i went to do my filling in the dental truck in np.cost quite a bomb.but the dentist was sweet and pretty la siaaa.luckily no pain,if not i will be crying.LOL!go check the dentist out.sweet and pretty,no joke.HAHA!

friday:red camp 06 games trial and interview went pretty well i can say.coincidentally me and laksana same group for the interview.thats a relief.HAHA!there were quite a number of people who signed up and i can say they are really somehow the higher class of people.ok maybe not.so i went home to catch abit of slumber before going out to meet kai and co. for popeyes.the chicken is really like those in kfc.the sizes i think kfc bigger?the fries rock-ed!and the whip potato was the sex.really good although i tasted abit.HAHA!got a taste of yami yogurt,not bad really.

slept through my afternoon only to wake up at 5pm?slacked awhile before i went to queensway to cut hair.and now my hair looks super ugly.well done mannan.you screwed you hair.did i mention my uncle came back from overseas.so he kinda talked to me and right now,i have to support myself.buy my own shit and use my own money.OK REALLY GG.why do i have to grow old super effing fast?im not prepared for adulthood man.and now i have to pay for my own zakat not only the fitrah but the harta as well.oh well its part and parcel of life that we have to give instead of always taking.if only dad was around.

You Are My Sunshine
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away

time,time and time again.

2009-09-01T02:32:00.005+08:00

Hello september,goodbye august.well august had been a month of hardwork,joy,happiness,sadness and everything.so as i start this month of september right,i went back to relief memories of yesterday.yes back to sec school.with great ol' buddies jac,jing si and vans.

it started quite hilarious with jac not allowed to enter school as our great buddy bernard(DM) didnt allow long hair students into school.so we suggested him to tie up his hair.after much persuasion he did.so we got into school and bernard finally told jac to take it out as it looked....HAHA!went for the teachers day concert which honestly is kinda crappy.only like 2 performance did left an impression,young talents really.caught up with our one and only favourite teacher Mr D.Chong.talked about school,life and when he is going to get married.haha!well he changed his yellow banana mazda car into altis or something along that line.so caught up with a few teachers and left henderson to head home and do the best thing in the world.sleep :D

so woke up later in the evening at 5pm.was thinking whether to go help loga anot.in the end i went as i had promised to.so i had to bring sarong and songkok for his music video project.and what i didnt expect was i had to be half-naked.nice one.the music video is shot in Loft with i would say a nice set.so i had to wear a sarong with songkok and nearly half naked as this guy who is the director gave me a t-shirt to wear.so we have to act act act.had quite abit of fun there,with loga wearing a yellow sunflower dress and wei jian looking like some aunty with leg hair zao keng-ing(sorry if wrong).hilariously ridiculous.had dinner with loga's friends and off i make my way home.great company,great day(Y).

so that somehow sums up my start to the beautiful month of september.so this week im somehow rather packed with meetings and all.so the only free day i have is tuesday and i wanna catch final destination 4.anyone?gonna post up my schedule here,so i will not forget.go out there have fun,sing in the sun,cry in the rain,jump for the sky.most importantly dont get yourself into shit.have a great week people. :D

Monday-over and done with.
Tuesday-Freeeee :DD
Wednesday-BDD and Astro Meeting
Thursday-Heading over to Jooks.
Friday-Red Camp Interview/Go out with the usuals to Geylang?sinful.HAHA!
Saturday-Free
Sunday-Free

i promise never to let you appear in my life again.

dengdengdengdeng.

2009-08-30T01:32:00.006+08:00

one way street

i know its been quite some time since i last blog about my happenings.i know im lazy k.life have been pretty much empty ever since school's out.miss those mugging sessions which starts as early as 10 and ending late.so exams died and hellos to holidays babes.to celebrate the death of exams,went to meet jy and co. for movie,year one.i swear its so good it deserved to be overated,yes thats my opinion.haha! its freaking lame and hilarious that i hear my toes laughing along too.well yes,its a good movie and you guys should really go catch it.

today marks the near to a week of fasting and im really happy im down with 3 weeks before i can partaayyyyy.excited much?went to meet kai and co. for dinner over at furk and spoon.salmah is always threathening me cause i owe her one red umbrella.and she threathen to tell her mum.ohhemmgee.i will get one for you soon okays.one bright red umbrella.haha!so had some teppanyaki which is like damn good(overated once again).then we bused over to geylang serai to get into the mood of raya,which of cause is an epic failure.really really pack with so many early shoppers.omg la.and the pak cik screaming through their loud inhalers mari mari which sounded like matrep matrep promoting their carpet.LOLS! but our trip wasnt dissapointed with the furking good food there.really really good(no exaggeration intended).i bought like a whole truck of food home.best part was the deng deng.its like once a year kind of thing you see.so it should be fine!HAHA!after all the food galore,we went our seperate ways.what colour should i wear this year.hmmm.whart a day man.

just so you know im trying my best.

thanks dad,

no surprise.

2009-08-25T02:34:00.001+08:00

amidst through my revision,i decided to look through my photos on facebook.and i made a bad choice.as i was clicking away,memories of everyone came through.i really miss hanging out on weekends with the usuals,i miss the johor trips we used to take,the joy and fun we had together that puts a bright smile across our faces.when will we ever go back and eat the coconut again.the camwhores we used to be.i miss the smile on your face.the times we had before.the nights of endless rantings and random talks.i ran through the photos and i chanced upon the photo we took back then.it would be the best photo i ever had.but photographs are just memories of the past.and it doesnt matter anymore now,does it.i realised how slim i was back then.looking back so much i have to regret,that i want another shot at life.yknow at times we cant help but look back into our past and perhaps try to alter it knowing nothing would ever change.if theres something i would so damn bad would be to go back into the past.go back and change everything that was wrong.perhaps my life now would be better.very cliche,yes i agree.perhaps what im feeling now is just the after effects of studying and not having a life i use to have.i miss the old me.i miss the mannan we used to know. :/
sadly i have no photos with dad.thats one thing i regret.

its time.

2009-08-21T23:43:00.003+08:00

how have you people been doing.yes i know i havent been updating as im busy studying and catching up with exams topics.nothing much had been happening in my life actually.
went to catch the proposal with the usuals.the proposal is a romantic comedy movie.i would rate it 4/5 and its definitely worth watching.for the past few days ive been mugging and killing my brain cells to apply formulas and clicking on the holy calculator.when will exams ever end,seriously.tsk.

fasting month is fast arriving and when i know it,its tomorrow.so no clubbing,no booze,no vulgarities,nothing illegal.just pure saint mode and angel-ly mannan.anws i had been a good boy,so it doesnt really matter.HAHA!i just wish this month would be over soon and when raya comes enjoy for a few days before going for TBC.talking about raya,this year raya would be so much different.it would be without someone whom i love the most.i remember the past years where my family would visit dad's relatives together as one.this year i guess it would be a different feel,a different story.

i guess life has pretty much been unfair to me.being the only guy in the family,i cant really relate my happenings and lifes events to the feminine side.i guess it doesnt change my life pretty much.all that i know now is i dont have anyone talk to besides my friends.i dont really talk to my family cause they want to live their way and couldnt be bothered to respect my decision.so im fine with it.thats one less worries.i still cannot get over the fact that im not there when dad left.im pretty much angry with my family.for they are the ones who forbids him.always looking back at his mistakes and the way he was before,ignoring the fact that people do change.

and its time that i change for the better.its time i do really do something about my weight and not empty promises or goals that i make.as i am determined to really make it work this time.so it would be pure determination and self-disciplined that i have yet to instill in myself.i got to pull this off to really change everything.its time.

so i hope you guys would study hard,play hard and f hard this coming week.and good luck to all of you out there who had yet to sit for papers.have a great week ahead.

loves mannan.

lesson of the day.

2009-08-20T23:47:00.001+08:00

a man trust no man.

thats my limit.

2009-08-16T22:34:00.003+08:00

this is going to be an angry post.
why do people think so shallowly.why are they so narrow minded?never exchange hand shake means you disrespect them,means you make them embarassed?why are we tied down to tradition.its so dissing and irritates me to the max.why are these things never ending and why does it always seem to be my fault.everything i do doesnt sound good to you,everything she does is beautiful?fine then.have it your on way.im not stopping anyone in the family from doing anything.and if happens that one day you need my help go look for the traditional people.they just might be the right person to help you mofos.i really really need some help in finding out why if i sleep over at my friends place,it is seen as they are teaching me to do the wrong things.always blaming my friends.why,you infer like this cause of my late father.so what if im like him.you want to label me as a bad person?why do you think so narrowly.issit because of the education you people get back then that is insufficient for you to keep up in the modern world?you want make me a place to vent out your frustration you had for him on me cause you couldnt get to do it when he is still alive.ive reached my limit.ive never blown my temper like this before.you make me become an angry kid.a very angry kid.my sister is such a stuck up kid.always putting a show in front of them.oh your such a good girl _l_.kaninafuckyoucheebyeeassholemotherfuckingcowshitandallthevulgaritiesiknowyoubootlickingdog.i so fucking hate it you.you assholeccb.all i can think of you is just vulgarities for your name.you make me so pissed.you said your not my brother?im fine by that statement that you made.makes my life easier though.all you can do is nag,nag,blame my friends,talk big time,think sister is so good and whatever you do is making me very tired.i thought i could control my anger,i guess i need anger management classes. :/

Its All About Love.

2009-08-10T23:29:00.002+08:00

To All My Friends Out there.

To all my friends who are Single,
Love is like A butterfly
The More you chase it, the more it eludes you.
But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it.
Love can make you happy but often it hurts,
But Love is only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it.
So take your time and choose the best.

To All my friends who are not so single,
love isn’t about becoming somebody else’s perfect person.
Its about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

To all my friends who are playboy/Girl type,
Never say “I love you” if you don’t care.
Never talk about feelings if they aren’t there.
Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart.
Never look in the eye when all you do is lie.
The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl: Is to let her fall in love
when he doesn’t intend to catch her fall and it works both ways.

To my friends who are engaged,
the true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together
but how good you are for each other.

To my friends who are married,
love is not about “its your fault”, but “I’m sorry”
Not “where are you”, but “I’m right here”
Not “how could you”, but “I understand”
Not “I wish you were”, but “im thankful you are”

To all my friends who are heartbroken,
Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go.
The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks But to learn from them.

To all my friends who are naïve,
How to be in love: be consistent but not too persistent,
share and never be unfair,
understand and try not to demand,
and get hurt but never keep the pain.

To all my friends who are possessive,
it breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else.
But its more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

To My friends who are afraid to confess,
love hurts when you break up with someone.
It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you.
But love hurts the most: when the person you love has no idea how you feel about him/her.

To all my friends who are still holding on,
a sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love,
only to find out in the end it was never meant to be,
and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn’t worth it.
If that person isn’t worth it now,
its not going to be worth it in a year or 10 years from now.

To all my friends,
my wish for you is a Girl/ guy whose love is: honest, strong, mature, never-changing, protective , encouraging, rewarding and unselfish.

p/s:courtesy of Russell Glenn Cheang.

a reason to smile.

2009-08-10T21:11:00.002+08:00

before i hit the books perhaps i will round up my weekends happening.im currently under 2 blanket in my sweater with a shirt on trying to sweat 39.1 out.yes its fever developed from insufficient sleep?

went for astro on friday to know that i have been given a spot in the comm starting next sem.good or bad,we will see.so i will be planning their fridays activity i guess.and it wouldnt be that simple.so after astro went to meet up with the vits and slacked over at KAP.we should have a picnic soon.haha!

went to centerpoint to look for a pair of birks.the model that i wanted doesnt come in my size,so i bought the kairo one.very nice,i like!then went to meet kai,suren,jo,qai,lei yi and williamson for GI JOE over at cine.i swear it was so good,its worth watching twice or even thrice.perhaps im a lil exaggerating here.haha!they went off and i meet jy and co.lepak for a while before going off.that sums up my saturday man.

i did nothing much on sun and spent most of the time at home.dotaing and not touching books.kinda regret cause ED CAD final test is on wednesday and i dont even know a single shit.verygoodmannan.

today woke up with my whole body feeling hot.i think its because of the lack of sleep i had for the past 3 days.spent my morning dotaing from 12am and hitting the sack at 6am.seriously no life,i agree.thats the only way i could do to stop myself from thinking?i hope this would be the last time im staying up so late.went over to qway to meet keane,syndris and jy.walk around qway and i bought nothing.yes!went home cause wasnt feeling well.

and that sums up my weekend.as i write this post,sweat is trickling down my face.verygood!have a great week ahead people.time to hit the books.

weary or teary.

2009-08-07T02:52:00.002+08:00

thank goodness,im done with most of the parts to my project.im still like 3/4 there and deadline is tmrw.howhowhow?i guess this is the kind of thrill we would achieve doing last minute work eh.not bad.im going to continue with the rest tmrw.gosh so many things to do still.

anws today chionged proe with the rest of the class.i swear it was an epidemic man,everyone's rushing.well,almost everyone.finally im done with assembling which took infinitely forever.went home and went to jog around my neighbourhood.perhaps a lil further this time.went all the way to crescent girls and back.i guess the mindset sank into my head and im determined.the only thing about night jogging is the dogs -.- .im so afraid of them i would stand aside to let them pass by first.gosh what a p.lols!but other then that its quite okays with the serenity i get from the surrounding and the great night air i get to breathe.such a beautiful world.

okay thats enough for today.im retreating to my hood and get some shut eye before morning alarms at 7.45 am.verrryynicceeee.goodnight people.

time for a change.

2009-08-06T00:57:00.002+08:00

and yes blogger is up and running,i take back my words in the last post.love you blogger.anws school is quite a rush these few days with 2 projects deadline this friday,oh yes man.im so screwed with proe halfway there,ok perhaps abit more than half and edcad is such a burden on my shoulders.gosh,when will this ever end.

after school rush over to west coast plaza to do abit(alot actually) of shopping.chun yang had a discount voucher worth 40% to be used in nike factory store.i swear to god,everything is worth it.i got myself a pair of running shoes,tights,tees and a sweater.talk about change,its happening.and yes im going to run that mile everynight.discipline and determination would get me somewhere?lets pray that mannan coleman would make it.

projects due this friday,lots of revision to do,happening weekends? uh,maybe not.
just something random;how do we forget someone whom we care dearly?

likea finally.

2009-08-03T22:22:00.001+08:00

hey readers,i know its been a nong nong time since i last did a proper post.thinking back there were quite a few events that happened.hope that i can recall all of them.i swear this is going to be a whole chunk of words,pictureless.naize.lets see, i went for NE3 on one of the saturdays.its been like years since i last for a proper ndp show.this year show wasnt that bad.its more of a concert then a show.i love the red lions(parachuters) parachuting down from like so many many feets up in the sky.likea cool only.see them jump off and skydive,makes my hair stand.i find their military displays very very nice with its freaking real sound effects and the mini show they put up.two thumbs up man.

i think i have been clubbing for 2 weeks straight i think.couldnt remember which 2 dates but yes.it kinda takes the stress of you and go out there have fun with your friends.although i was tempted to go last weekend, i made a deal with zx that neither of us would go clubbing till exams are happily over.damn tempting but got to resist.right zx?

vitamins outing last friday i think.we went for dinner and caught a bit on each others life.although everybody wasnt there but still the love was still going.haha!went to holland v for chillax session cut short by someone so grumpy who asked us to keep quiet?f that guy.i just realised after so many many many years that i never zip my pants when i was taking photo in kindergarten.FML.went over to daniel laksana's place and waited 8438713 years for him to appear.night sky,dim streetlights and empty road what more can you ask for? had osim international triathlon the next day,reporting time 430am.so you guys might roughly know how tired we were when volunteering at the race.and yes i was sleeping on the bench after watching the fisherman cast his line.what a beautiful day.

went to catch B.P on sunday with zx.we were like the latest to catch it.the show was so-so as they had to put all those facts and storyline right i guess.more on relationship issues? and definitely i would be scared if there was ever a lavender in np.damned.i think harry potter needs a hair cut and nice vintage specs.perhaps bangs dude?best part zx cried over dumbledore death.lets go awww.HAHA!

i wanna follow daniel to bali and jakarta this holidays.oh man,it seems likea fun only.perhaps i could get my dreadlocks done over there.could go down town drooling over indo chiqs?and daniel says he can drive in indo but i dont trust his skills.damn.hopefully i could use edusave for a well-deserved vacation after school terms end.please minister?

school is now is quite hectic.im almost done with my proe project which is due friday.hopefully it would be done by tmr.am gonna start revising,studying,mugging;whatever you guys like to call it for the exams which are like less then a month time.time study hard and play hard.theres so many things on my wishlist,i need manehh.lets hope school doesnt suck like it always do.

why cant i upload photos.whateverbloggerusuck.

uh fuck off?

2009-07-29T23:14:00.004+08:00

to you asshole,

you dont have the right to judge me.you are no where close to my friend and you pass a flying comment thinking you are what fucking dope?and please dont judge me for you do not know me?i think you are just pure retarded.you think you are one fucking cool kid?i think i look better even though im botak.now suck that.you think by making a statement like that you would feel more superior then me?by saying that you will get the chance to love her?i repeat again you are just purely retarded.gosh,why do i even bother entertaining you and your shit.so what if im fat.does it affect your life?does it trouble you?does it affect your family?does it affect your hair?knncbmofo.so what if she dont like me?you think she would like you?you think you fit the bill?fuck man,i thought im worse,your worser.so suck that.really fuck off la chee hong kia.knncbplusallthevulgaritiesiknow.

sorry about the extensive use of vulgarities.just had to let it out.i promise i will have a proper update soon.still fuck you asshole.

the weekend.

2009-07-19T23:30:00.004+08:00

appreciation dinner,astronomy activity,to powerhouse,booze,chicks,good ol' RnB,dancefloor,lansing lansing with bangs,inside joke,great company,great time,slack over at bukit merah macs,home sweet home,on saturday,woke up at 12pm,went to work at iluma,funny dressing,adorable kids,steamboat for chun yang and keane's birthday,epic laughter,over to nabins to drink,sheesha,great amibience,great company,good laughs,hell lots of fun,first bus home,woke up at 12pm again,went for work,as usual gave out balloons,got called uncle,wth,went home,went out to buy groceries,i guess its better left like this,i know i had been childish,forgive me,its very cold talking to you,forgive me for being to open,i dont know its me or you,i dont know why i would feel that way, i shall not hope for anything anymore,perhaps i just think too much,a little bit too much,i guess i havent seen the world yet and goodbye then.

a beautiful day.

2009-07-10T00:45:00.003+08:00

yes i will wait for you,
as the good ol' saying goes,
patience is a virtue.

right to love.

2009-07-05T23:54:00.005+08:00

someday.

the weekends can be considered over and i have not done anything productive.seriously in deepest shit you can ever imagined.anyways on saturday meet up with the boys for gym in the morning and out to town in the afternoon.we just walked around,eat and laugh our asses off.and cheryl obsession for that Mr. dont-know-what-sitting-on-books.so we supported her and we got ourselves our very own LittleMiss and Mr.went over to wai cheong place in the night for rock band-ing,dota,mahjong and texas poker.i swear rock band rocks but i can only play easy mode.so noob.shall go play again some day.i think i get the grasp of the game.make sure you have money to play and always maintain that poker face cause it does help.so went home early in the morning and i slept in the bus.the journey feels like 3mins and i missed my stop.lucky only 1 stop.so went home sleep likea dog,and woke up at 3pm.the weather is such a bitch i decided to stay home.just like that my weekend burn-ed.school 9am tomorrow,im dreading it.goodnight people.

and your smile melts my heart,
your my sunshine.

the sun always shine after the rain,
showing its beauty,
the rainbow.

all around me are familiar faces.

2009-07-04T02:02:00.003+08:00

hey world,its been sometime since this space been touched.time to give it a little touch.nothing much had been happening.lets talk about common test results man.i failed EDCAD with a score of what 36?i know its damn bad,will try harder next time.must.scored 77 for my SOM module and got 80 flat for FM.i think this 2 modules at the only modules i ever gotten nearest to an A for common test.great achievement?maybe just pure luck.my SOM teacher felt insulted cause i sleep in class and never listen to him yet can achieved such results.well there was much joy today as the SOM class was brighten with laughters eh.hahaha!i guess last minute hard work pays off,but this doesnt guarantee good results.its just a risk you have to take.

on thursday had my sub-comm meeting and dissapointingly im in Blood Donation Drive.and yes according to kai,"those people in this comm have a good heart" want to kana the dash-underscore-dash face ah.so i just have to suck it and live with it.coudlnt get freshmen party,this one also can ah.and so meeting and after what it seems endless discussion, my job is somehow quite relac one.manpower!so i guess thats it for sub-comm meeting.and i just have to live with some people. :D

perhaps a little bit of reflection yes?i have to take things slowly and never rush.most importantly believe in myself.

okays im meeting the peeps for gym tomorrow.im thinking a way to drag myself out of bed and be in school at 9am.good luck.time to hit the sack.goodnight people.

i would smile,
looking at number 40,
it never fail to brighten my day.

random.

2009-07-01T00:08:00.005+08:00

its time i live up to this fear,
face it like a man,
overcome rejections.

sometimes i need to learn,
to find a way out of my own shit,
and dont depend too much on people.

i need you to trust me,
and have faith in me.
i wouldnt be that someone in your past.
i am willing to fight for it,
as long you are able to accept it.
i know its not going to be an easy ride,
but im prepared to face it.
goodnight world.

enough?

2009-06-28T23:25:00.002+08:00

hello earthlings.its been like 2 weeks since i did a proper update on the happenings in life.its been pretty much normal except for a few occasions.most of my time are spent gyming or lepaking in SU.let me see where shall i begin.

on TUESDAY(23June):i was in school lepaking when cheryl ee called.she asked me to ride the bungee with her friend as it was his birthday.so i went in place for her.all i can say about the ride,its not for the weak hearted.perhaps a little bit of advice:JUST SCREAM YOUR LUNGS OUT.it helps :D thanks cheryl for the EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE.hahaha.video is up on fb,check it out. :DD

on Wednesday(24June):had a supposedly mass anubis outing which turned out to be boys out to town day(just count syndris as guy).went to town to catch transformers 2.i swear it was so freaking good,its worth to watch again and perhaps again.optimus prime is super cool and megan fox is super hot.i would rate it 4.99999999/5.good show peeps.after the show met horus who wan having outing as well for dinner.end up at clarke quay for some chillax and talk talk session.didnt go home and ended up over at cyrus dotaing our night away.i enjoyed the day.definitely :DD

from Friday Till Today(26 to 28June):had astronomy outreach programme.i shall not go into negative side of the camp.the good think about the camp is we get to sleep at loft which was damn good.good session to chill with good friends around.self-entertainment is what we did throughout the camp.the food,company and drink was good.movie marathon was what we did to burn our night and snore till the sun was up high.great time with the peeps.oh yeahs i saw saturn and jupiter.and the moon quite shine as bright as you.perhaps a pick up line for you:

Guy:The stars arent that bright today eh?
Girl:Why?
Guy:Cause you stole all of its shine.

holidays are over,school is here.time check:1150pm.school tomorrow at 9am.goodnight.

its a bit sad,
i had to back off.

Father's Day.

2009-06-21T01:25:00.004+08:00

Every third saturday in the month of june,we people celebrate Father's Day.
this year i never get to celebrate this day.
and as much as i wanted to,i could not.
talking about fathers triggers my memories of a young me with him somewhere in back in time.
the bitter truth that i have to accept is that hes gone.
i want to so much put a brave front and fulfill those promises not to tear anymore seems difficuly.
two weeks ago,
he left and never said his final goodbye.
i think GOD gave me a final chance to meet him,
the night before my birthday,
he dropped by and that was the last time i would ever held his hands and kiss in respect.
and that was GOD's birthday gift to me.
i still remember when i was young,
dad would bring us out even though it might not be going somewhere far or some luxurious places.
the togetherness and the love for his kids is what matters the most.
we might not have travel around the world, eaten at the most expensive places, or go to the seven wonders of the world, having to bring me up thus far,i am thankful to you dad.
you have tried your best to turn this family around, and you just started when fate meets.
you have been someone whom i look up to at times, taught me life's lessons, and gave me hell when im supposed to.
my fond childhood memories with you, i will never leave them, and will always be treasured.
i remember the time when you piggy back me from home, to the market to buy food.
i still remember when you came home late one day, with a cut on your forehead.
that moment i cleaned up for you.
you may not be the best dad in the world, you are the best dad i could ever have.
thank you for everything you had done,
i love you dad.
happy fathers day.

2009-06-19T03:00:00.004+08:00

am i that unsung hero from the last chapter of your story,
why does dissapointment has to come my way in such a beautiful time,

issit that inevitable,

shouldnt i be doing something for the world,

then i wouldnt be called superman for nothing.

a beautiful friday morning,

not so beautiful two weeks ago,

ohwells,im hitting the sack,goodnight.

im done.

2009-06-18T00:20:00.003+08:00

hello world its the first week of holidays and im back from challengers.this camp is something new that i never experienced before when im with su.challengers had its pros and cons which i shan't elaborate.overall it was a good effort.a few lessons i took away and i shall not elaborate on this too.all i can say is that my eyes are always open,my ears always hearing and im always judging.when its over means its over,goodnight world

postcard.

2009-06-14T04:03:00.002+08:00

its 4.03 am here on a beautiful sunday morning.am waiting for my phone to be charged cause i forgot to do so earlier.so here i am updating this space.it had been a week since dad left us,im thankful to GOD for giving me the strength to accept reality and for me to move on with life.i guess life had just took a toll on me,hitting me right in the face.i do wonder sometimes,what am i going to do without him.oh wells.thank you friends for your concern,im alright people.

common test were long over and done with.holidays are in but it feels empty.camp is coming up on monday which i dont know whether im anticipating or dreading.but i will go anyways,dont wanna miss out that chance of being a DH.kinda once in a lifetime thing.there are so many movies i wanna watch and so many things i wanna get.i hope camp would be fun.i think its first time im dreading camp.gosh.

went out yesterday with wc and co.went to town,sing song,talk cock,eat,play mind games and lepak.it had been a fun day and im sure they had fun too.heh.no plans tomorrow or maybe might be meeting some peeps to go down to funan for some dota shits.oh yeah,im not a hardcore dota-er.cheers peepos.

-your eyes shine quite as bright,
capturing virgin hearts.

2009-06-07T23:44:00.001+08:00

if i sow an ugly seed,will it grow to be a beautiful tree?

goodbye,

2009-06-06T23:45:00.005+08:00

i never imagined myself having to go through all these.i always wanted to be an adult,but this way too fast.time is going by so much faster than i thought.i just a lost a loved one and now i have to live through with responsibilities as a leader in my family.

woke up this morning with tiredness etched to my mind thinking about whys and hows.left for mortuary to identify my dad before all my relatives come to bring the body to pusara aman for normal muslim burial.a little talk with my dad's uncle,i then found out that he was from st andrews sec school.he said my dad was a smart guy and truly he is.i tried to hold back,putting a brave front.it seems impossible.i kissed dad for the last time,i cried.my dad is safely buried at pusara abadi cemetery.

theres a wisdom behind every tragedy.it brought me closer to my father side of the family.i never knew that i had a cousin who is in the 30s.i never knew my dad still has an uncle.it brought me much more closer to them.

my deepest gratitude to all my relatives who arranged everything and all the encouragement you gave me,to all my friends who cared and was there to hear me out.thanks for being there everyone.i will try to move on with life,as i close this chapter of my life.i will be strong and face the world.goodbye dad,i love you.

oh common tests are here,let it be over.im not prepared.

05/06/09.

2009-06-05T22:05:00.005+08:00

Have you ever imagine if you moved on with no one by yourside.no family members by you to hold you and show their last love for you when you take your last breath?

my father has always been the one that i looked up to.putting aside his bad past and the mistakes he had done,i always respected him as someone who is very caring,supportive and loving.fond memories of him i will treasure in the deepest of my heart and will never forget the moments i spend with him.i still can remember how he brought the whole family to ecp for picnic and the day when i got my first sun tan.the day when he told me its time i learn to tie my own shoelaces.the day when he told me its time i grow up and take buses on my own.he told me to take a bus to tiong bahru and buy tamiya cars on my own.he would bring me to toyrus to buy my favourite lego sets.buy me football jerseys.the day he was by myside in my deepest fear of operation.i still remember when he shouted from right outside our flat to the playground asking me to go home when its sundown.i missed the way he will cook sambal sotong on weekends as he knows its my favourite.and the love he shown me from day to night.now all that is left is memories of him within me.

on an innocent friday morning,a call from CGH saying my dad is in critical condition and asked me to come down to see him.the uneasiness inside me overwhelmed my emotions,i cried.i know something's not right,from the moment my sister woke me up there mus be something wrong with dad.it was difficult holding my tears back.entered ANE with teary eyes as the doctor confirmed it.the whole world came crashing down on me.right into my face,i was slapped with reality,dad's gone.i went to look at dad for the last time before i stood at the corner tearing as i watch brothers and sister to my dad came.they told me to be strong,but no one told me that i need to be stronger than this.as the clock tick,my eyes went dry.i forced myself to accept the fact,hes gone. life is so unpredictable.

sometime i wonder why when we are trying to make life better,this have to happen.i guess its part and parcel of life.and dad time has come.i will try my best to hold my tears tomorrow.im sorry,im not there by yourside when you breathe for the last time.im sorry for the times when i troubled you or if im very demanding.im sorry cause i wasnt there.i will swallow this bitter gum and move on with my life.thank you dad,thank you for everything you had given me till now.i knew you try your best to make up for your mistakes and try to turn the tide.i had forgiven you for your past mistakes.i guess there wont be anymore phone calls from you.goodbye dad.

p/s:i just have to pour my heart here.
to all of you,treasure your loved ones,before they are gone.

charred gardens.

2009-06-05T00:38:00.005+08:00

w-jam

hey people,hey whats up.are you feeling good this week?mine had been quite bad yet fruitful yes.lets me flashback into monday.i got cookies presents from yinhui.went for appreciation held by npsu.tuesday was revision all day.seems like i can digest some concepts for FM.wednesday was well spent over at the gym.thursday is screwed up,why?cause im sure to fail 2 tests.a round of applause please.but ont he brighter note it had been productive mugging at the library.its an unusual sight ok.me,mugging.weird.haha.tomorrow friday,worse day of the week.9am lessons,im fucked.let the weekend come soon.and holidays sooner.study hard people,cheers :D

-judged.

random.

2009-06-03T21:53:00.002+08:00

the grass is green.i swear.

Mannan's Eighteen.

2009-05-31T20:04:00.012+08:00

Eighteen :D

here i am once again.time to update about the birthday.but i would like to thank all who wished me through smses,fb,tagboard,phone calls and personally.thanks guys.meet up with the guys over at raffles city thai express for lunch.they bluff me they no money buy cake so they bought subway cookie.lols!ate black pepper chicken rice which is damn good man.after we all finished,i was shocked when the staff brought out a cake.and they sing birthday song again.and i have to make the 3 wishes again.lol!the cake is really really good.camwhores,paparazzi and we are off to esplanade.

on the way to esplanade,they outcasted me.strangers all kept looking at me cause i had a birthday crown on my head and 2 pink balloons.how sexy.we did crazy things on the way there.hilarious man.

at esplanade,it was my first dare.to eat 18 green WASABI peas one shot.if you guys ever tried it,i swear its gonna sting ur nose and throat.a lil bit of advice,dont close your mouth.i think theres a video on fb.check it out.so walk walk and its my next dare to take photos with 18 girls.at esplanade dont have,so we went over to marina square.caught photos with a few and its not easy approaching them.fear of rejection.lols.so bus-ed down to town.

on the bus is where my next dare is.sing a solo birthday song on the bus.sweet.the bus is like quite packed.wah cui.so i sang and everybody looked at me as if im crazy.oh wells.part of being 18.

met up with jia yong and wai cheong over at cine.continue with my dare.taking photos.when its done.they wanna tear my underwear(boxers) in CINE.that one i really really scared.like so damn embarassing,so i plead and plead and they let me off.phew.next dare was eighteen pumping in the middle of cine.my birthday like kana embarass only,oh wells.got it over and done with.then some random guy came up to me and asked if it was my birthday and offered a handshake.haha,it was his dare.camwhore camwhore.

we went over to cathay to meet phoebe and xiao ting.and phoebe was telling us her encounter with a random guy.she sound so aunty when angry.haha!and its my next dare.go into starbucks,and shout:

mannan:"hi everybody my name is mannan and today is my eighteen brithday!!!"
public:*looks and ponders and stares and silence*(cold situation)
mannan:"uhh thanks you!"(quickly walk out)
public*claps and claps and woo*

thanks wai cheong for that dare.cui again.we lepak lepak awhile and go off.all i can say is that it had been a great eighteen for me.thanks people.its pictures time :DD

thanks wman :D

and russell said:hello!!happy birthda ya

me:haha

russ:now 18 already

me:thanks man

russ:dont anyhow fuck around

me:lols,18 can go geylang meh?

russ:dont wanna hear you having herpes or anything

me:i mean legal already?

russ:dont forget can go jail.ya 18 legal already

me:lols

my second time making brithday wishes.

sorry bout the face,its effort.

and the la ji with the cake.

the ham sum guys.

the lagi ham sum

pink balloons <3

outcasted. :(

Sneak Peek of 18 girls or more. :D

THANKS GUYS FOR EVERYTHING :DD

For more photos click here

18,im finally legal bitches.

2009-05-31T00:33:00.002+08:00

hello world,im eighteen.im starting to enjoy being 18 now.haha!i will update on the happenings today another time when i get all the pictures. so i take this oppportunity to thank all those who wished me regardless through facebook,msn,smses and even phonecalls.thank you all very much.it has been a great day i can say,i look to more birthdays to come.as of today,im a new man with 3 wishes i made,im out to smile and be happy always.cheers. :D

-something brigthen up my day,
i thought it was the end,
perhaps one last time.

oh why.

2009-05-28T23:05:00.004+08:00

hello.
a few things that never stop bothering me throughout the day.
why do we still care about people when they dont even care about us.
why do we still think about them when we never existed in their thoughts.
why do we make our life so miserable to ponder about all these.
why do we still deny the truth rather than accepting them willingly.
why do we even hope when theres nothing awaiting us.
enough said.
its friday,school at 9am.
goodnight world.

let the past be the present.

2009-05-27T23:14:00.003+08:00

where are you guys.

i went home awfully early today.it feels kinda weird going home so early on a school day.usually would be home around 9 or even 10.bus rides alone makes me think of the times i had with people whom i used to share joy,laughter,sadness and everything with.now it seems so distant,feels so alone.i think work and school is making us distant.perhaps it all starts from me.from this short experience i had,i learnt a lesson.the girl you like will never be there for you forever,but great friends/brothers will be there for you anytime,anyday,anywhere.i wish time could turn back and save me from the present.sighs.hope things get better.oh wells,im not looking to my 18.bye.

i will try not to think about you.

2009-05-26T23:31:00.005+08:00

my fav shot.

tuesdays are the best days of the week.its one of the few days i dont have much things to do.went back to school in the morning for extra fm classes.went to get my laptop up with proe wildfire.need to do tutorials soon,if not there would be another mountain next to everest.went over to sp to buy the tees.coolshit man.went looking around,and ate foodcourt 6 which is totally(inserts negative words).went back to school for intensive gyming and npsu meeting at 6pm.am gonna be participant in the upcoming camp.oh wells.oh yeahs,nerly lost my phone.

i think its time i settle down,
and stop chasing,
cause it seems that,
i never caught up with anything.
im tired,
of denials and rejectons.
if rejection is part ofgrowing up,
then im afraid to grow up.
goodbye my almost lover,
goodbye my hopeless dream,
lets bring back the mannan we used to know.
lets laugh and scratch our backside in the rain. :]

-there would be a day when we all fall,

and never to see the world smiling.

oh wells.

2009-05-26T01:32:00.000+08:00

the last astro camp.

in a blink of an eye week 6 arrives.how tired i am of doing same ol' routine makes me dread to school.same old faces,same old words and same old excuses.gosh,how bad can it get.not looking forward to anything.common tests are racing towards me and projects are being procrastinated.time to buck up.hopefully i get through the week smoothly.extra lessons at 10am,time to hit the sack.sighs :/

i know someday you will have a beautiful life,
i know you will be a sun in somebody else's sky,
but why cant it be mine.

Felt it,been there,done it.

2009-05-24T22:19:00.004+08:00

the past 3 days had been really tiring for me.my days was well spent over at AOC leading a group of crews.its my first time and i hope i did okay.it has been a great experience for me.i learned alot from the camp and i will never forget these lessons.the only thing that i had to do alot is tanking the comm.how sweet.the only difference between FOC and AOC is that i lead a group of friends rather then strangers.its a different kind of thing.we did a great job in the nightwalk,and i am confident to say that it is one of the best i ever had.although it was a bit dissapointing at some point but still two thumbs up.actually wanted all the crews to do a great skit.if only we had more free time to talk about skits.am abit dissapointed but its alright.thus,i would like to thank all the crews for all the help they rendered and really making the nightwalk a success.thank yous.

my apologies to aizat and co. as your station got cancelled,am really sorry.thanks for trying your best to prepare for it.and to all the crews if i ever raised my voice at you guys or being a bitch at camp.Crew Is Cool!cheers :D

one picture speaks a thousand words.

2009-05-20T00:57:00.002+08:00

when i take a look through the FOC 09/10 days,

it never stops me from looking back into memories,

so much,so many that i will never ever forget it,

the friends and company i made,

the smiles of the freshies,

which turn to friends,

the greater relationships of our counterparts,

and the happiness FOC had brought,\

tears never fail to flow,

although its just pictures,

and pictures does speak a thousand words,

so as i move on with time,

i will never ever forget every single moment,

and never will ever i leave those memories behind.

i miss FOC 09/10 terribly :(

time please stop and rewind.

fucked up.

2009-05-17T23:10:00.004+08:00

a beautiful day that turn to be fucked up.had to go back to go school just to get fucked by friends and had to stay till evening to do props.sighs.missed my neighbour's wedding.how dissapointing.oh wells,life is all about choices aint it.a new week is about to begin.how i wish time would stop for abit for me to chill for a while.this sucks man.tomorrow dinner with vitamins.have a great week ahead peeps.oh week 5 bring it on.

-i want to be your greatest hello and worst goodbye.

the 50s,the present.

2009-05-17T04:36:00.002+08:00

its 4.37 am on a busy sunday morning still awake.just finished a game of dota with wai cheong with the game filled with so much conflicts.lols.pause game = buay song.HAHA!i havent been doing anything productive except for killing my braincells with excessive dota.gonna turn nerd someday.

stayed home all day on a beautiful saturday.had to go for engagement ceremony just behind my block.dont ask me why its under the block,ask tradition.since im on tradition,i really cannot accept the older generation thinking.i mean we are living in an era where things are better and have moved on with time.so i dont know why i still do get blamed for something which i am doing for the better of people.gosh.i still respect tradition but i do hope it doesnt get worse.

anyways,am gonna have a long day tomorrow.got to go school for dummy making session and have to leave for wedding.oh yeahs earlier on at the engagement ceremony,saw my childhood friends.the few malay friends i have.its been so long since i saw them.cause they have moved somewhere else.im considered the oldest amongst them.they were like so young since i last saw them.oh wells.life does carry on yeahs.

its 4.45 am.i am sure to be late.goodnights people.

-i sat by the window,

talking about her with fate.

caligynephobia

2009-05-16T01:17:00.002+08:00

oh fridays,wish you never came.i super hate fridays with stupid lectures that bores me to my bones man.gosh.it seems that i have nap time from 10am to 12pm.then lunch from 12pm to 1pm and nap again from 1pm to 3pm.and thats only for today.for mannan is going to start paying attention and making less noise in class.ok thats abit too much.

so today astro meeting is settling logis and briefing the crews on the camp.its gonna happen next weekend peeps.quite troublesome today as some did not turn up and some were late :/ so bla bla bla,meeting's over and dinnered with the usuals over at al-azhar.

i think i had been psychoed to go for cambodia trip in september.seems like the whole usuals are going for it.they call it 'bonding'.am afraid that it clashes with npsu camps and also i dont want to take not only 1 but 3 injections for the trip.guys your words very convincing with the no pain injections.ok im afraid of needles can and many more. :/

but anyways i will still take the form and go for 3 freaking injections IF my parents allow me to go.haha!so most prolly i will be taking planes for the first time.so wake me up when september comes :)

-i walk a lonely mile,

just to see you smile.

fisherman's friend.

2009-05-14T00:03:00.004+08:00

good day readers.my knee is currently healing faster then i thought and i would be back to gyming in no time.yey!thanks to all that was concerned.haha!it was a great wednesday today,with me being able to understand engineering design and mastering pro nc models.feels good uh.hohoho!helped datok kai with ece graduation ceremony.the hardest part of this job is finishing all the food.hahaha!had lots of fun with sparring with wc and to balloon fights after the party.super hilarious,hop over to josiah's blog(free ad!) for the pics and videos.if only what i told jia yong came true,well i will be the happiest man in the world.very happy.inside joke ah.ok right now lady gaga is blasting my speakers like theres no tomorrow.gosh.oh wells.cheers ppeeooppllee.

p/s:take care of your shoulder yeahs.see you soon :D
a note to me:use less fucking vulgar.thanks.

-i lay in scenes and memories,
reminiscing the memories.

pain.

2009-05-12T23:32:00.006+08:00

hello its tuesday,and i didnt go to school today.couldnt bring this heavyweight out of the bed with his knee still in pain.the night before was hell with sudden come back from sleep with excruciating(exaggeration) pain.missed the half an hour lesson for the whole day and slacked at home.found out that as i walk more the knee would be better.so accompanied grandma to market and to school for dinner with the guys.driving is always fun with them.lewis brought us around from school to kismis field back to alumni for dinner.beef fried rice was the sex man.extra spicy,extremely shiok.always wait for 970 bus so long.gosh.wad a dumb bus.looking to better days with you.have a great week people. :D

edited/.

the other day vitamins were on the topic ways your friend shouldnt die.so here is a few ways i dont want my friend to die.

1)got headshot by dolphine sperm.

2)hit by whales erection while swimming.

3)p-word stuck in the bottle,swell and die.

4)eat rojak and die.

5)hit by cactus while riding bicycle.

6)choke on a cockroach while sleeping with mouth wide opened.

7)hit by a golf ball while walking.

8)tripped over a hello kitty doll.

9)die to a beautiful heart.

10)knocked down by a kick scooter.

11)peck by a crow while walking in the park.

12)drown in a small drain

13)choke on a bird shit while yawning facing upwards.

14)fell into a manhole while walking on the pavement.

15)stuck in a lift with a hungry dog :(

so i hope that no one dies this way or i will have difficulty explaining to my friends.haha!

-you are such a beauty,

that i feel like a beast.

ouch!

2009-05-11T23:58:00.002+08:00

a minor twist on the knee.
ouch!
a little dissapointed but your smile.
ouch!

whats left.

2009-05-08T22:29:00.005+08:00

it has been great having you around,
being by your side,
and trying to love you.
it all seems so lucid now,
and im trying to accept the fact,
that i never won.
i promised myself,
never to cry again,
but it seems impossible to hold.
i very much hate this feeling,
of the whole world crashing down on me.
i tried everything i could,
but some things are just not right.
maybe we were never meant for each other,
or perhap it was never my luck.
so i bid farewell to all the hopes,
i have built throughout this lovely journey,
that i will never forget.
perhaps this is the way it was meant to be.
so whats left,
memories.
goodbye.

-tears are the words heart cant say.

i know i am.

2009-05-07T23:15:00.003+08:00

just aint a great day,

im totally dissapointed.

i know fat people,

would never run away from shame.

im not moving.

2009-05-07T00:53:00.002+08:00

hello world.its been a great day today.i think wednesdays dont suck that bad.hope thursdays and fridays would be nice to me.i think i would learn better if i get my head in the lesson.a little quarrel with the lecturer.hes being an ass.how do u learn if he just reads of the slides.it would be the same as i download it to my laptop and read it by myself.ask him explain,not happy.oh wells.went to celebrate xing jun birthday in the evening.hope he liked the surprise we gave him,sadly he didnt cry.i think i would cry if that happens to me.so sentimental,so me.haha.so tml another long day.gonna hit the sack now.cheers peeps.

when the light disappears

and when this world's insincere

you'll be safe here

when nobody hears you scream

i'll scream with you

you'll be safe here

melted hearts.

2009-05-05T00:23:00.003+08:00

today is a rather tiring day.im damn tired of this thing call fats thats around making me feel like a fool.i do one day hope they will go for good.but someday i would miss them.im stopping rugby except for saturday.not fit enough.so fuck it.didnt do much things which is productive these days.and i always get peer pressured.is it that i dont want to dissapoint people so much that i do these sacrfices.school is really getting tiresome and im really dreading lessons.oh how i wish wednesdays and thursdays would go away for good please.sighs.nothing does makes me happy other than that.i just have this feeling that one day the world would come crashing on me.oh wells.oh yeahs to hope.fuck you. :D

Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

smiles.

2009-05-03T23:07:00.003+08:00

stayed home all day.
so had the time to do lots of thinking.
and im down to choices.
i hope im wise enough to pick the right choice.
do i really have that unforgetable face.haha.
hope this week would be a great one.
y'know sometimes a rose is destined to love thorns.

would you rather.

2009-05-03T02:06:00.002+08:00

didnt get into team,

its alright.

hip and arm,

kinda whacked.

movie,dinner,sheesha,

it went great.

see that moon there,

i would pull it down,

if i could.

had a great day.

looking forward to better times ahead,

with you.

perhaps someday.

2009-05-02T00:38:00.004+08:00

someday i would grow up,

prepared.

just before i leave.

2009-05-01T15:24:00.002+08:00

just a note to mannan.
fat and ugly people,
dont get a chance to love.
so fuck you and your hopes.

neither today was a good day.

2009-04-29T23:08:00.005+08:00

i love bus rides without my earpiece blasting my favourite tracks into me.i like the serenity and the calm i would get on long bus journeys home.thinking of stuffs made my journey short that it only felt like minutes on it.come to think of all these stuffs,it kinda makes me tired.but without all these i would feel empty.i am kinda confused bout what i have to do and what i feel.im dreading to go school nowadays.lifting up my fat body seems so tiresome and difficult.i lost interest in what i doi hate lessons which starts early and having a lecturer who is dumb.maybe someday i will appreciate them.but not now.i feel that im getting the wrong idea.it seems to good to be true.it seems that dreams do come true.but sadly assumptions make one a fool.so fuck dreams and all that is associated with it.i feel so pessimistic today.ah life sucks.night guys.

-I should have been chasing you,
I should have been trying to prove,
that you were all that mattered to me,
I should have said all the things,
that I kept inside of me and maybe,
I could have made you believe,
that what we had was all we'd ever need

Memories that lingers.

2009-04-29T00:02:00.003+08:00

Today was a normal day like another tuesday which is dam slack.went gyming with the usuals.then cheryl gave me something which really really touched my heart.its a picture of all the anubis GLs before the camp.and behind that picture she wrote me a note.it goes like this:

Dear Mannan,

Firstly,thank you for everything that you've done for Anubis.Thanks for making us laugh with all your jokes and words.You really made those tough days in March so much more funfilled.Thank you for making it so wesome.

All the times we've spent together were really awesome and i'll remember them vividly.

The joy,tears,laughters,fun,all the ups and downs made us all our sacrifices so worth it!Definitely.I have never and will NEVER regret being a GL because i get to know you better and we get to laugh,cry,scream and get high together.I really wish time could turn back and let us go through all these all over again.I hope we keep in contact and go for camps together in future and have fun! :)

With Love,
Cheryl Ee.
2009

Dear Cheryl Ee,

Thanks for being a great friend through out this journey of our lives where we had to work together to pull through the difficult times and sometimes agonizing moments.When i look back to days we spent countless hours in school where others are out enjoying themselves,i feel sad and at the same time happy that i am there in school with people i want to spend time with.

All the memories of us being GLs would forever stay with me and its something that i wont leave behind as i move on with my life.Thanks for all the help you rendered me at times and being there when i need someone to talk to.Remember the time when we had to rush the freshies gift as well as make props for our campfire skit.Although we were not feeling well,we still did it and made our skit a success.

Looking back at the skit,tearing seems to be impossible to hold as so much sacrifices and hardwork had been done.The thanks i put forth for you and the whole group would never be sufficient for all the things you guys have done to make this group Anubis one of the best group in Egypt FOC 09/10. Once again thank you for every single thing you had done for me. :)

With Love,
AhBerDu Mannan.

-my thoughts are free to go anywhere,
but they always seem to go to your direction.

i is sad.

2009-04-28T00:33:00.004+08:00

oh what a day to kick start my weekend.today really really shucks man.started with lesson at 9am which is really damn early.happen to wear my top that i just bought.got negative comments on it.people laugh at me cause im fat.thanks alot.really thanks :) had shitty lesson which the teacher could not explain the ways to draw that freaking model.but our fluid mechanics rock.he made me understand the topic in less than fifteen mins.so went for lunch with the usuals at canteen 2 as makan place is packed.slacked everywhere in the school then went to do the nomination for ME comm.after all was done i went for rugby training.today training was dam tiring.it had been very long since had this kind of physical shit.anyway the coach was there so it was abit fierce.he was a funny guy though.always scolding people.haha.the last set of sprintings.i really couldnt take it.skipped a few sets of them like 3 or 4.the coach always emphasizing on life sucks.and it really does.after training went al-azhar for dinner then off home.took 970 and sat third row from the back.didnt intend to plug in my earpiece to play songs on repeat.so i just stare into empty spaces and went into deep thinking.alot went through my mind.i cannot decipher what i want ,what i want to do in the future and the present and how my life would be.fell asleep through the jouney.but luckily woke up at commonwealth area.just as i was preparing myself to talk to the advisor for ME.kai told me that they only accept SLs from their foc camps.i am totally dissapointed in the fact that im not able to join the comm and its really unfair to me cause i never received their letters informing about the SLs for the camp.gosh.its just totally unfair.sorry for the wordy post,i just have to pour it out.like what the coach said:Life Sucks.seriously it does :(
hope you guys have a great week ahead.cheers people.

-how can you tell the sun not to shine when clouds exist,
how can ask leaves not to fall when wind exists,
how can you tell me not to fall in love when you exist.

i like this.

2009-04-26T23:11:00.003+08:00

you cant make someone love you,
all you can do is be someone who can be loved,
the rest is up to the person to realize you are worth.